Your Ignorance Is Killing Me

would you ever walk into a hospital and make your presence known by storming into rooms and looking the patients in the eye "your pain isn't real" and "just fix it yourself" falls out of your mouth and sits in the air like something unfathomable of course you wouldn't because their pain is evident and you can see it on their skin so why is it so different when someone says "i'm depressed and i'm lost within" how come that illness sparks something malice inside as you spit out the words "you're fine” when you sit there and can feel the words "depression is not real" burning in your throat when you have the nerve to utter the words "just get over it" i will not sit there and i will not listen because you just don't know you don't know how it feels to wake up with a never ending storm cloud to feel the thunder roll through your fingertips and rip through your very bones because you don't know how it feels to watch the tears make tracks down your face and your bottom lip tremble like an earthquake because you don't know how it feels to place a cold piece of metal on your skin as your hisses of pain become the soundtrack of your nights because you don't know how it feels to feel the universe coursing through your veins and the only means of escape is through your very own blood because you don't know how it feels to watch your mother's eyes fill with "where did i go wrong" and "what could i have done better" because you don't know how it feels when your brain slowly unwinds and you fall into a seemingly endless spiral of pure insanity because you don't know how it feels at 2 am when your face is caked in tears and your wrists are caked in blood because you don't know how it feels to become so lost within yourself that ending it all seems better than fighting through it my scars may not be visible to the naked eye but the wounds are left fresh and bleeding in my mind my hands will always be murderous and my fingertips will always be tainted with blood and i can see in your eyes that you don't understand because if you did if you could just understand an ounce of the torment that plagues me every night then you would never have the nerve to sit there and say that mental illness is not real and that it will "just go away" -interminable