Your Choice Not Mine
Uncertainty consumed
An undeniable sense
Knowing there's no you in my tomorrow.
Feels like I'm a million miles away from you,
In absence of person
Passing through days of agonizing longing.
Your choice,
Not mine.
I chose to fight for us,
I was never worth the effort.
You knew it long before I did.
I miss you.
Mourning every essence of the affection
I thought existed.
I believed in us you know.
You didn't.
Marred by flaws you abandoned me for.
Pain magnified as I remember our last goodbye.
Your words burn
Through my mind,
As I relive our journey in my head.
Unbelievable.
However so true.
You said so did you not.
Lost in a space and time
Crying myself to sleep night after night.
Haunted by my cherished memories of our sweet moments together,
You've taken over my subconscious.
Waking up is devastating,
Disbelief in the realization that we may no longer be.
Saying your name brings tears to my eyes
Sadness,
Our dead end.
Why me?
Is this my punishment?
For what I ask?
I feel so betrayed by you.
You knew I was never what you wanted.
You always knew.
I didn't.
You made me believe that forever would be evitable.
You sweetened my ears,
With false intention of you being around.
Destroyed trust,
I was so careful to build with you.
Scars reopened.
Deeper and more painful than I have ever imagined.
I should have known better.
I can't allow you near me.
Not even within sight.
I know I will break.
Tears never ending.
Rejection playing around me like a forest caught alight.
Weakness eating away my days without you.
It's not that you never wanted a relationship,
You just never wanted me.
Raw and vulnerable.
I hide away.
Terrified of the pain I try so hard to bear.
Close to breaking point
So close to the edge.....
Copyright © Anneline Moodley | Year Posted 2018
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