You Shoulda Called Angies List
He fancied himself Mr. Fixit for things that broke around the house.
He had a knack for screwing things up which aggravated his spouse.
His tool kit consisted of a wrench, hammer, screwdriver and a brush;
Also, a plumber's helper to unplug his toilet commode to make it flush.
Mr. Fixit stood in water in the basement that came up to his hips.
He busted a pipe and cussed his luck with naughty words from his lips!
At this, his long-suffering wife became enraged and was totally pissed,
Screaming, "I told you so, Mr. Fixit! You shoulda called Angies List!"
A light switch went on the fritz and when repairing it he crossed the wires.
This caused a neighborhood electrical outage raising his neighbors' ires!
It caused all kinds of consternation and at this his darling wife hissed:
"Don't ever try that stupid trick again - you shoulda called Angies List!"
Mr. Fixit's next project was to cover the kitchen walls with new paint.
He splattered paint on the floor and stove proving a painter he ain't!
Losing patience, he wife hurled a skillet at him which barely missed,
Shouting "You incompetent nincompoop, you shoulda called Angies List!"
Mowing the lawn with his electric mower he ran over and cut the cord.
He received a shocking jolt and his spouse screeched, "Oh! My lord!"
That did it! He finally learned that if with his wife he must coexist,
Next time he needed help he'd call the experts at Angies List!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Copyright © Robert L. Hinshaw | Year Posted 2017