Notes About The Poem

You Hit When I Was Low

You hit when I was low
The pain you caused, you know
Threw dust on glitter glow
Made weeds of sorrow grow
Cued pent-up tears to flow

You hit when I was low

You hit when I was down
Made me a freak show clown
Took jewels from my crown
Gave not a smile but frown
Held me until I drown

You hit when I was down

You hit when I was sad
Made good turn sour, bad
Streaked pain into my glad
Bandied words like “mad”
Spilled ink on writing pad

You hit when I was sad

You hit when I was lost
Clueless to what it cost
Flowers: blighted in frost
My sentiments you tossed
My boundaries you crossed

You hit when I was lost

You looked down from on high
Not hearing heavy sigh
Not seeing tears I cry
Not caring if I die
And Still you don't know why…
To you I’ve said, “Goodbye”

Jade
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

Poem

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Capitano Avatar
November 22, 2018 at 6:29 AM
Most of us have been to a place like this before; loving someone who seems to have a different agenda. The pain and loneliness only makes us stronger. Peace and love to you, my dear.
Macfarlane Avatar
June 4, 2015 at 4:47 PM
My dearest Eileen, I feel your pain in this emotional write, and you leaving comforting comments on mine when you are going through the same heartbreak...you are an angel! Read my "Sometimes Love is Not Enough" poem, it's my goodbye. I wish you strength, self love and sanity, time does help. Hugs
Johnson-Saunders Avatar
May 11, 2015 at 12:00 PM
My little one is down for a nap and now I can get lost for a little while in your words! This is breathtaking...the pain and pure emotion we all feel, but you have the talent and honesty to express it! I have felt every word of your poem. I'm grateful to God...the feelings of hurt and betrayal never go away, but they lessen with time. Hugs, Rhonda
Breidenthal Avatar
May 10, 2015 at 9:53 PM
The sorrow and pain is so so heavy in this poem. I truly hope things are going okay. You are a very special poetess to me, and I respect you greatly. I surely hope things are looking up. Hopefully these hard hits will strengthen you. It's really hard to measure pain, though easiest to feel it in our every being. Always, Laura
Cooper Avatar
May 10, 2015 at 5:28 PM
Hi there my enchantress, It is so good to see you back where you belong. Sometimes it is too hard to say good bye, because there always is another sun rise and who knows what magic the new day may bring. I have missed your poetry. love Shane xxx
Lamoureux Avatar
May 10, 2015 at 12:10 PM
She will appreciate it. I like the changes in the poem. Hugs Rick
Manassian Avatar
May 10, 2015 at 12:23 PM
:) I did, already. Honestly, I feel she is a kindred spirit. She just lifts my spirits sky high. The changes? Well, I owe that to you, Richard. Thanks for the soup mail about the tenses. You were right. I appreciate the fact that you don't just let my work go without pointing what needs fixing. Need I remind you of your name? ;) Hugs
Lamoureux Avatar
May 10, 2015 at 9:07 AM
It would be wise for all people to leave such a relationship. It took my mom many years to leave my dad. I think it is a shame she lost so many years to a destructive relationship.
Manassian Avatar
May 10, 2015 at 9:12 AM
I love your Mom, Richard. She's been so good to me. She's been writing and sending me encouraging messages. I'm just about to send her a Happy Mother's Day email! :) Thanks for the visit. Hugs
Andresen Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 2:10 PM
- My heart is crying ...... so unnecessarily hurting others - I wish you a beautiful weekend filled with love, dear Eileen - hugs & love // Anne-Lise :)
Manassian Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 10:13 PM
Thank you, Sunshine....I don't understand why people let painful situations continue. I wish you all the same. You know I love you....you've brought me joy in a difficult situation. Hugs
Meade Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 12:49 PM
Yes, good riddance! The body, mind, and soul beaten, bruised and barren . . . but still alive and with a spark of life, a small hope to survive. Is it enough? Yes, I think so . . . I know so LO! 7+++
Manassian Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 10:16 PM
David....good riddance. If someone only brings pain....what is the point? Seriously....I have closed my heart to certain people. I've come to an age where I need to focus on survival. It shocks me when people will not understand inner struggles....and how close someone comes to the edge. Instead of pull someone back....it's like...let's see if we can goad them to jump off. It's ok, David. In the end....we live and learn. Thank you for the term of endearment LO....it does me good. Hugs
Nunez Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 11:39 AM
A deeply emotive write, Eileen. Once again, your pen soars high with this piece. A 7. PS. Hope everything will turn out fine for you, your thesis, and your masters. HUgs! KIM :)
Manassian Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 10:17 PM
Thanks for the kind wishes, Kim. Unfortunately....some of what has happened to me recently has prolonged the process of finishing this paper....I will try to overcome. Appreciate the visit.
Lindley Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 11:28 AM
Right on cue! A brilliant , profoundly deep piece and creative display of pure talent! A gem for sure and quickly going into my fav list my friend.. A7 As always you rock!
Manassian Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 10:18 PM
What an honor for this piece to be in your favorite folder, Robert. I really thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm glad poets who write so well, find my work praiseworthy. Hugs
Relish Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 9:19 AM
oh Eileen... I am glad you have said 'Goodbye' at last and hope that you will be able to let go of all the sad memories as time passes... be strong my friend... lov n hugs, nadiya
Manassian Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 10:18 PM
I hope the sad memories don't hurt as much in time, Poesy. You've been away for a while. It's good to see you back. I'll be there to visit you in a bit. Hugs
Chircop Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 8:26 AM
I feel ,I hear,I listen,and feel again -The Cry.Oh dear Eileen. So deep this feels.
Manassian Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 10:19 PM
Your empathy is why you are a soul sister, Charmaine. You understand me. Thank you. Hugs
Horn Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 6:41 AM
Caused should be instead of cued. Right? Other than that poem if perfect and wouldn't want to read it any other way. What will your MA be in and does it require a thesis? Jim Horn
Manassian Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 7:17 AM
Hello! :) No, I actually wanted to play with cue and make it into a verb. The tears starting flowing...on cue, in other words. Thanks for drawing my attention to that, but it was intentional. l appreciate your kind comment. My thesis is about collaborative writing being a means to increase student motivation to write. I refer to work done by Vygotsky concerning the social aspect of learning. I make reference to how we need to give students authentic writing tasks that mimic real life situations so that they will understand the relevance of group writing. I'm getting my MA in teaching with a specialty in English. :) Thanks for asking! Hugs
Das Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 3:18 AM
Firgot to say this... you look soooo beautiful. And a beautiful name too.
Manassian Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 3:21 AM
Hello, Nan! Yes, I haven't connected with you because I've been keeping a distance for a time. I've been working on my MA thesis, which I need to submit tomorrow night for final review before my defense. I have a window of opportunity to write. I have read your lovely poem about JAN. From comments I've had the chance to read, you seem to be a very caring and sweet person. A pleasure to "meet" you. Yes, I wrote this poem some time ago, but finished and posted it today. Sometimes....goodbye is the only thing left to do. Hugs
Das Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 3:14 AM
A deeply soulful sad lament. Full of pain and a heart deeply hurt. A poignant write. This touched me deeply. So heartfelt I want to reach out and comfort you. I pray there will be healing and showers of blessings...A #7. And a favorite.
Manassian Avatar
May 9, 2015 at 3:22 AM
Healing is a long time coming, dear....thank you for your kindness to me. I appreciate it. Hugs
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