Emily Ann Poet Free verse

You Don’t Love With Your Brain

“Okay”
“Explain to me
what it is
about Him”

Her mouth opens
Before it clamps shut
Her eyes light up
Before they crush

“was it his smile
How his mannerisms
We’re so familiar
That they felt like home?”

She shook her head
saying there was nothing special 
about him
That she dreamed to own

“What is it then?
Please explain.
Because I’m confused
Why you would fight though the pain 

She hesitated 
Not shaking her head
She knew the answer 
You don’t love with your brain.

You love with your heart
She cried
You love with the shaking in your hands
And the tears in your eyes
You love the endorphins 
That come
from riding the high
And crashing into the depths
Of late night panic attacks
Texts that didn’t get returned back
And cries that echoed from a revolving goodbye

You love with your heart
She pleaded
Trying to convince me
That’s what he needed
Trying to convince herself 
That she had succeeded
In doing what was right
For what proceeded

She said
you can’t stop your heart
From loving 
She explained 
No matter how hard
It tries your brain
Cannot lock it up 
Cannot shut it down 
Cause I locked the doors
But keys you found
I took the keys
But you came back
Because truthfully
The lock had a crack
If my heart were superman 
You would be kryptonite
If my heart were an addict
You would be heroin in its height 
It my heart were a drunk
You would drive me home at night
Walking me inside
Not letting me out of sight
So I would be safe
For you to hurt
Next twilight

She cried
I think that’s why
This point
was so hard for me
To get to
I can’t fix a problem 
I can’t think through
I don’t know how to process pain
When my brain can’t find a way
To rationalize the suffocating days
When you couldn’t bare to look my way
I think those cries
Are the reason 
I’m having such a hard time
Because when day turns to night
I’m still trying to understand why 
Why I feel this way
It’s because I over explain
Trying to force words
Canning every lie
You couldn’t have just loved me
Just to say goodbye
Everything needs a reason
A plan 
A purpose
For it not to be worthless
And you can’t be worthless
You can’t have just been a fluke
You were my world
Maybe that was part of the problem too

You don’t love with your brain 
Because on all accounts
I shouldn’t love you 
But here we are 
And I do
I love you 
Like I was bubbly 
And you were champagne 
Like I was an addict
And you were cocaine
Like I was a lover
And you were mundane

I shouldn’t love you 
But You don’t love with your brain

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