You call my name, will I Flight or fight?

Running up the stairs or look at you? In the past it seemed harsh whenever I didn't smile at you, now it seems too hard to smile at you. Still, one thing stayed the same: The way you looked at me, behaved or said towards me affected me. I am not paying attention at all how you behave or look at me now. But the words you speak, still, chokes me till I let my true feelings out. In the past it would've been red cheeks. Now it's tears dripping down my hand which holds my mouth. Will I throw up?