Yet 3 More Excerpts From the Lost Book of Tuberlantis

Retrieved Passage 6: From The Book of Days - The Cellar Don't send me down to the cellar I swear I won't do it again lest my sanity goes inter-stellar and I beat myself senseless in vain Don't send me down to the cellar there are things there that scuttle and crawl there are gnomes there that sing a capella and an evil old troll in a shawl There are heebies and jeebies aplenty who leave trails of slime on the stairs and their brains are undoubtedly empty and their long arms have unsightly hairs So leave me my cape and umbrella and my half-eaten poems of woe don't send me down to the cellar nurse, not again, let me go! Retrieved Passage 7: Overboard "Potato Overboard!" Came the loud mid-shipman's cry the Potato King had fallen in we hung him out to dry dangling from the mainsail mast festooned with swaying weeds it cured his hangover quite fast it usually succeeds "Oh Your Majesty" said his fair queen, in dismay the gulls had eaten both his socks and took his wig away he was a spud of rangy height wall-eyed, with lantern jaw but now he was a sorry sight as many times before. "Potato Overboard" was a common cry, those days We never cured His Majesty of rabid dipso ways he would fall into bouillabaise cow troughs, and out of ships and always buy up hard liquor on foreign shopping trips. Retrieved Passage 8: The Hour of Cool is Nigh I came to chill I came to mellow down I came to groove about in a yellow gown hey man, I want to shimmy like a yak this is the hour I have my cool attack I came to chill I came to croon for lurrve I came to give coolness a helping shove hey maestro, hit the bass and timpany this is the funk hour, in the Name of Me Dressed to thrill I came to chill this town to say "one has to get up to get down" I came to watch the bumble bees go by hey give it up, the Hour of Cool is nigh.