Ada Monroe Poet Free verse

Wonder

I was driving behind a gray sedan today,
It looked just like yours.
And although I know you are practically a million miles away,
Part of me still wondered if you were the one in the driver’s seat.

I followed it down a road I had no business turning onto,
Hoping I might somehow get a glimpse of you. 

I find myself doing that a lot these days…
hoping illogically with you in the back of my mind. 

I remind myself that you’ve moved on,
I tell myself I’m glad that you did. 

For a moment in time, I wanted nothing to do with us…with me and you.
Moving on felt like relief,
A breath I had been waiting to take. 

Yet, here I am.
I’ve pulled out my pen,
My notebook is open for the first time in months
…the poem is still about you.

I miss it. 
I miss us. 
Mostly, I miss you.

I’d catch you staring at me from across the room,
My heart would skip a beat.
My stomach would churn. 

I used to hate it. 
Now, I crave it. 

We never dated, 
but I feel like we did.
We never dated,
but I stayed up well into the night to talk to you. 
We never dated,
but I would’ve said you were my best friend.
We never dated,
but I know if it was up to you, we would have.

I didn’t mean to break your heart back then.
In return, I shattered my own. 

If you were to ask me how I’m doing,
I would tell you
I’m still learning how to pick up the pieces without cutting myself. 

And the cuts become deeper when I notice that you still stalk me on the internet.
I laugh.
Do you know I do the same to you?

You reached out the other day,
And ever since then I hope every vibration of my phone is a message from you. 

I was driving behind a gray sedan today.
It looked just like yours. 
The similarities made me wonder, 
Do you still think about me, too?

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