Notes About The Poem

 

Without You

I thought we were so happy but then you walked away Took my ring off your finger It’s a heavy price to pay Just tell me why, tell me why Let me know what I have done It seems like only yesterday You walked into my life Now I’m left heartbroken I no longer have a wife Just tell me why, tell me why Let me know what I have done Grey clouds fill my life I long to feel the sun Dreams that we shared No longer exist Dreams of the future Now shrouded with mist Lonely days and lonely nights Are all that I’ve come to know Why did you throw my love away Why did you have to let me go? Just tell me why, tell me why Let me know what I have done I guess in time I’ll move forward One day I’ll let go of the past … Never dreamed you’d walk away Thought our love would always last I think of those halcyon days You had a smile on your sweet face In my heart I still love you I yearn for your embrace Dreams that we shared No longer exist Dreams of the future Now shrouded with mist B Poetry form Contest Sponsored by Broken Wings 12~16~16

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016



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Date: 3/7/2017 10:48:00 PM
That was sweetly sad and heart felt. A good poem, and a hard topic. congrats on your placement, Jan.
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Jan Allison
Date: 3/8/2017 5:05:00 PM
Thanks so much Jesse:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/30/2016 1:50:00 PM
Back with congratulations, Jan:) Have a lovely weekend, and may the new year smile brightly on you and your loved ones:) Hugs // paul
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/30/2016 2:05:00 PM
Thanks Paul another year is passing oh so quickly - happy new year to you and your lovely family:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/29/2016 10:52:00 PM
Wonderful poem, Jan. Congratulations!
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/30/2016 1:01:00 PM
Thanks so much Afzal:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/29/2016 8:01:00 PM
Congrats on your win with this wonderful ballad, Jan.
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/30/2016 1:02:00 PM
Thanks so much Agnes I was delighted to be on the list:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/29/2016 7:44:00 PM
Jan wonderful write and congratulations on your win. Have a Happy New Year’s and all your wishes come true… and don’t forget to eat those Black-eyed peas :) I know you haven't read my Poem "Black-eyed peas":) Hugs Eve
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/30/2016 1:02:00 PM
Thanks so much Eve I'll be eating those peas lol:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/19/2016 7:56:00 AM
A beautiful ballad Jan, Really enjoyed it!!! Best Wishes Kevin
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/19/2016 8:14:00 AM
Thanks Kevin I had to tweak the poem from my initial posting and added a refrain as Jospeh suggested and now I have posted it in the contest:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/19/2016 5:39:00 AM
I've never written as a man, have never thought of it. This is great, Jan - I would put it in Lewis Raynes' contest - "But it was not real.' The ending words (note) imply you did enter BW's contest, but the top note implies differently. Now I'm confused so I must go. To me, you did unrequited love very well, with full emotional load ... CayCay
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/19/2016 7:06:00 AM
oops I must alter the top wording - i did alter it to have a refrain and amended it to ballad:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/19/2016 2:38:00 AM
Beautiful but rather sad my dear Jan. Good luck. .
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/19/2016 3:55:00 AM
Thanks Pashang:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/17/2016 3:51:00 PM
Very nice lyrics Jan..Well penned...The third stanza could also be a refrain...GL in the contest...
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/19/2016 8:15:00 AM
Hi Joseph, I've taken you advice and tweaked the poem to make it into a ballad and posted it in the contest:-) hugs jan xx
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/17/2016 4:18:00 PM
Thanks Joseph I still have work to do and think it could be used as a refrain to turn it into a ballad for the contest:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/17/2016 2:10:00 PM
- I'm so happy that this is not "your life," Jan - Touching and vivid written - Good luck in the contest - Delightful weekend :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/17/2016 4:17:00 PM
Thanks Anne-Lise yes I am so blessed not to have this happen in my life:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/17/2016 9:31:00 AM
Wow, Jan, a fiction write for you....how can that be? It's truly there, that sense of loss.
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Doug Vinson
Date: 12/17/2016 3:29:00 PM
Turneth theyself loose! : )
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/17/2016 12:24:00 PM
I have a vivid imagination Doug and based it on experiences of friends. Am going to try and make it into a ballad if I have time:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/17/2016 12:51:00 AM
Very worth posting, this is an amazing poem!
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/17/2016 12:24:00 PM
Aww thanks Arthur am going to work on it and enter it in the contest if I have time:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/16/2016 11:10:00 PM
Did you listen to music while writing this? Or did you have a melody going in your head? Always wondering :) For me it is often that I listen to music, but while writing I don't need it anymore because it's set in my head by then.... hugs Darren
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/17/2016 12:26:00 PM
I had a melody in my head Darren I love to listen to music when I write but this one just flowed I will add a bit more to try and make it into a ballad and enter it in the contest:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/16/2016 4:13:00 PM
Sad but well written Jan . you went though all the stages of someone leaving.
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/16/2016 4:20:00 PM
Thanks Anne thankfully it's a fiction write for me but many can relate:-( hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/16/2016 3:43:00 PM
Sadness and longing are going to make it hard for this heartbroken person to move forward and forget the past! Very emotional, Jan; the future sounds bleak. Hugs // paul
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/16/2016 3:55:00 PM
I am sure there are many that can relate to the sadness when a relationship breaks down:-( hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/16/2016 9:41:00 AM
Looney, smelly, funny, sad. Your dance covers the whole floor, Jan, and is so wonderful to watch. Huggerlootchkins! ~ john
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/16/2016 10:50:00 AM
I never know what my muse will come up with next lol:-) hugs Jan xxx
Date: 12/16/2016 9:03:00 AM
I could hear his heart breaking throughout this sad and lonely piece of writing Jan. This one hurt deeply. You have penned a very moving poem my friend. Beautifully done.
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/16/2016 10:59:00 AM
I started to write a ballad and it turned out like this I don't think it's correct so made it is to a lyric. Have looked at the former and there are so many different variations it has confused me lol. :-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/16/2016 8:32:00 AM
Hi Jan, You've penned some sad and heartfelt lyrics. Relationships are so tricky one minute you're on cloud nine and the next minute you're whole world has stopped. Because when you lose the one you love for what ever reason, you feel like you can't live without them.You expressed that fact really well in this write. It's a shame you couldn't get the ballad form because this are some good lyrics. Well done.A without a doubt seven:-) Alexis
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/16/2016 11:02:00 AM
I wanted to write for the contest but this is the result and I don't think it's correct so I posted it anyway.:-) hugs Jan xx
Date: 12/16/2016 7:50:00 AM
This one hits home unfortunately, sad song, moving lyrics Jan. Hate those misty shrouded days. :)
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Jan Allison
Date: 12/16/2016 7:54:00 AM
I wanted to write for Constance's B contest but this just flowed and I don't think it fits the 'ballad form' that said I've seen so many different examples I am not sure what a 'ballad' is:-) The theme is sad I guess many can relate:-( hugs Jan xx
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