With the Tide

The frigid metal against skin, My desperate ending without sin. I hold it tight, poised over my wrist, I want to stop, but the knife insists. Salty tears running down my cheeks, I apply pressure to the end I seek. I feel the tip straining against my arm, Strangely enough, I feel little alarm. I cannot think straight, like I am possessed, My slowness and unwilling, I do detest. As I feel the point, slowly about to break through, The phones shrill ringing counters, and I’m frantic, what to do? I’m finally able to release the knife, You, on the other end, just saved my life. I pick up shakily, and put on a front, Secretly thanking God the knife was so blunt. The one who has saved me, is the only I trust, I know I shall tell her, my heart says I must. But I cannot, I don’t, and we talk senselessly now, Her oblivion doesn’t bother me, I’ll tell her, I vow. Too hard for speaking, this much I know, Later we text, and I tell her slow. I know that she’s crying, I’ll bet she’s a wreck, I make sure that she knows, she saved my neck. Talking for hours, her mind surprisingly clear, Then I recall, years ago, she’d had been here. She stands solid, somewhere between frantic and fervor, No matter what I say, I can’t seem to unnerve her. Every other line, or so it seems, We love you, we need you, those choice words teem. I’m relieved I told her, this girl, my best friend, To my swirling head, I know she will tend. She keeps saying it will pass, the evil feelings that be, It won’t I say solidly, how can she have such faith, in me? This girl makes me promise, in the dark of the night, I will not do a thing, I don’t put up a fight. Because I’m feeling feeble, and I’m feeling drained, I know she’s there, shaking, that her expression is pained. But for now, I feel nothing, so empty inside, She’s protecting me, holding me, getting me off this ride. In the swirl of it all, I can do nothing, but go with the tide.