Winters End Humour

JED.

Jed the horse thief was a bit of a dope
Stole a pretty horse and tried to elope
Folk declared him a horse thief
And for giving them much grief
They dangled him at the end of a rope...

PADDY O'HARE.

A deep sea diver called Paddy O'Hare
Was on the sea bed without any care
His watch he forgot to check
Coughed and said" oh flippin heck"
Never surfaced cos he ran out of air...

BARTHOLOMEW LOTT.

The great explorer Bartholomew Lott
Was in the jungle with Jimmy the Scot
Cannibal's came in the night
They both put up a great fight
But were outnumbered and put in a pot...

FRED.

Fred tried to run away with his lover
Was caught in the act by his dear mother
She said this cannot be
T'will end in tragedy
His lover was the wife of his brother...

JIHADI (WON'T BE MISSED).

Bin Sayed said everything will be fine
Told a Jihadi bomber to cross the line
But Jihadi didn't know
Something was about to blow
A loud kaboom when he stepped on a mine...

LOUISE.

An old woman by the name of Louise 
Had a fur coat that made everyone sneeze
Also they'd start to twitch
And scratch raw from the itch
She found out it was infested with fleas...

KEITH THE TROLL

There was a vile and nasty troll called Keith
Bullied the weak and shy into defeat
He lived in a small town
A victim tracked him down
Now he's seen walking around with no teeth... 




Written 26th February 2020.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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12
May Avatar
January 7, 2024 at 7:47 AM
These are so funny Tom, Thanks for the laughs
Cunningham Avatar
January 7, 2024 at 7:57 AM
Thank you very much Joseph, I'm happy you enjoyed the humour. Tom
Delaney Avatar
March 21, 2020 at 8:56 AM
Can always depend on you for a good giggle, Tom: will go and read your March mirth. Spring has sprung here. So pretty seeing cherry blossoms against a clear blue sky. SuZ
Cunningham Avatar
March 21, 2020 at 10:49 AM
Thanks Suzanne, I'm happy you enjoyed the humour. Stay safe. Tom
Messina Avatar
March 1, 2020 at 7:29 AM
You are on a roll, Tom. Fantastic Lim's. Charlie
Cunningham Avatar
March 1, 2020 at 7:41 AM
Thanks Charlie, happy you enjoyed them. Tom
Ellison Avatar
March 1, 2020 at 6:45 AM
Seven of the finest lims!!!!! Great!!! Loved them ALL!!!
Cunningham Avatar
March 1, 2020 at 6:51 AM
Thanks Jack, just put 5 more on, March mirth.
De Beaulieu Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 6:17 PM
Hello Tom, thank you for the winters end humor. For 5 days it has snowed off and on and i shovled the deck 5 times. My piles look like little mountains. Have a nice evening my friend.
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 6:35 PM
Thank you Darlene, sounds like your winter not yet over. Here in the UK we have a spring feel in the air, we haven't had any snow and only a few frosts. Hang in there spring is coming. Enjoy your weekend. Tom
Callus Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 3:27 PM
An excellent string of witty Limericks, Tom. My wife was wondering what I was laughing at!! Regards // paul
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 4:54 PM
Thanks very much Paul, I must be doing them right lol, glad you enjoyed my humour. Tom
Roper Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 2:08 PM
So, so funny , Tom, you brightened my day. Hugs Eve
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 4:50 PM
Thank you Eve, glad you enjoyed them. Hope you're well. Enjoy your weekend. Tom
Lamoureux Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 1:12 PM
These are all quite good Tom. Paddy No-air was my favourite. ;0)
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 1:38 PM
Thanks Richard, happy you enjoyed them Tom.
One Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 10:18 AM
A great collection here... You will be releasing your own Limerick book soon..
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 10:29 AM
Thanks S. O. , I must look into doing that, see what's involved. Tom
Proxenos Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 9:38 AM
Your Limericks are all outstandsig my friend, but my fav. is Fred, would he live through all of this or would Fred's brother do a Henry V111 on him and behead him? Blessings, Jennifer.
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 9:58 AM
Thanks Jennifer, if I thought she'd go off with him I'd think maybe I'm better off, then again where's my shotgun lol. Have a nice weekend. Tom
Koplin Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 7:46 AM
You are certainly a great master of words my friend. I’m particularly drawn to your last one. I love it. I’m all in bud great job!
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 7:50 AM
Thanks Mark, happy you enjoyed them, the last one was inspired by all the latest shenanigans lol. Tom
Kitchin Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 5:00 AM
Ha Ha, love them Tom, excellently penned, made me belly laugh!
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 5:03 AM
Thank you very much Tania, I'm glad I gave you a few laughs. I hope you're well as I know things haven't been easy for you. Tom
Trifiatis Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 4:28 AM
Now I see what I have missed the two weeks I was away with the flu dear, Tom! You brought the smile back on my lips with these humorous witty Limericks! Thank you!
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 4:54 AM
Thanks Demetrios, I'm sorry to hear you've not been well, I hope you're on the mend now. They say laughter is the best medicine, I hope that is true. Nice to see you back. Tom
Laurie Avatar
February 28, 2020 at 9:40 PM
G'day Tom … gosh, you do come up with some wit don't you. I'm giggling as I write this - thanks Tom - Lindsay
Cunningham Avatar
February 29, 2020 at 4:51 AM
Thanks Lindsay, I'm happy I gave you a laugh, they were overdue, now to see if my muse has any more. Tom
Andresen Avatar
February 28, 2020 at 1:36 PM
- Enjoy them all ... but, the last two are my favorites ... thanks for the laughs - Have a wonderful weekend, Tom :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Cunningham Avatar
February 28, 2020 at 8:05 PM
Thank you Anne, I'm pleased you enjoyed them, I hope you have a great weekend too. Tom,
Y. Avatar
February 28, 2020 at 8:59 AM
WoW! Tom, So glad I found your string of limericks. The last one was good to end these well written limericks with. I laughed out loud because I could picture the bully walking around with missing teeth! I’m still waiting on your book. Have a good day and weekend:-) Alexis
Cunningham Avatar
February 28, 2020 at 8:03 PM
Thank you Alexis, happy you liked them. I've wrote about 159, So I'll have to check out criteria. Tom
Mcguire Avatar
February 27, 2020 at 6:27 PM
fabulous Tom. I love the Limerick!
Cunningham Avatar
February 27, 2020 at 6:53 PM
Thanks Timothy, glad you liked them. Tom
Sands Avatar
February 27, 2020 at 10:55 AM
Wow, these are great Tom! So well written :)
Cunningham Avatar
February 27, 2020 at 12:42 PM
Thanks Heidi, not sure why I called it that I think we've had one of the mildest winters ever, about 6 frosts and plenty of rain, I'm like a big kid, I wanted snow lol. Tom
Adams Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 7:06 PM
lol... thank you for the midweek humor... days have been long and exhausting...I needed a good laugh tonight... they all were good as always Tom... you rock this form! hugs
Cunningham Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 8:37 PM
Thank you Sandra, pleased I gave you a laugh glad you enjoyed the humour. Tom ..
Marcum Wong Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 5:00 PM
Tom, you are one of the BEST at writing Limericks! These are wonderful! I laughed and loved all of them. I am saving them to my Faves! xxoo
Cunningham Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 5:46 PM
Thank you Connie, and for the fave, I'm happy you enjoyed my humour. Tom
Smith Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 4:47 PM
Can't beat a good limerick or seven, good stuff Tom...
Cunningham Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 5:44 PM
Thank you Charlie, nice to see you back on soup, I hope you're well. Tom
Pandit Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 4:25 PM
Simply hilarious--enjoyed each one of your humorous characters--you write these so well Tom--by now you have enough for a poetry book.
Cunningham Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 5:43 PM
Thank you Vijay, jury still put on that one, I must count them up and see if it's doable. Tom
Sietesantos Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 4:04 PM
Hahahaha - What a wonderfully hilarious piece - Tom, you have me in stitches! Oh my goodness, I haven't laugh out so loudly for a while! Thank you for sharing this witty gem of a Limerick! Hugs. Pandita
Cunningham Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 4:13 PM
Thank you Pandita, glad you enjoyed the humour.. Nice to see you back on soup. Tom
Rodrigues Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 3:45 PM
I have commented by limerick. Please see my poem DEFAMATION OF CHARACTER AT WINTER’S END ;)
Cunningham Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 4:12 PM
Just been there Kim, loved it. Thank you. Tom
Dietrich Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 3:38 PM
haha, I like the justice done in limericks 5 and 7. Some great chuckles in these. 2 and 3 were very funny for me as well.
Cunningham Avatar
February 26, 2020 at 4:11 PM
Thanks very much Andrea, my muse finally came through. Happy you enjoyed them. Tom Tom
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