Wimpy Drinks

(THIS IS FICTIONAL POEM) When I went to a bar, I ordered a glass of Tang. Ordering that wimpy drink got me beat up by a gang. The next night I ordered a Shirley Temple and I got beat up again. They beat me so hard that my lungs collapsed within. The next week I ordered another wimpy drink and I paid. They broke out all of my teeth because I ordered a pink lemonade. What was done to me was evil and crude. Now when I eat, I have to gum my food. Every time I go to that bar, my ship is sure to sink. If you want to stay healthy, don't order wimpy drinks.