Mary Nagy Poet I do not know?

Will I Still Go To Heaven If I Envy?

I watch them from the corner of my eye.
(because I don't want them to think I'm weird) 
I wonder how I could get what they have.
I wonder what happened 
that made my own mom turn away.

Do they know I watch them? 
Can they see the lump in my throat? 
Did I blink my tears away quick enough? 
Do they know? 
I hope not.

I know it's a sin to envy.
I just can't stop myself.
I want to....I know how it seems.
It's embarrassing.
It's crazy to want somebody to love you
if they don't.

But, I still want a mom.
One that would come over and visit
and ask how the kids are doing.
One that offers me a hug
when she hears how I'm hurting.

One that loves me.

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