Get Your Premium Membership

Why You Left

You departed, my Motif, but why did you? Unfinished, my carpet lies, colors awry. In the weave of my days, you were the light. You departed, my Motif, but why did you? Absent your Taleem, I'm lost in the night, My heart, your target, where arrows lie. You departed, my Motif, but why did you? Unfinished, my carpet lies, colors awry. © 25/09/2014 Malik Yaseen *Taleem is the script used for carpet weaving (kashmiri, persain). For a contest by Alferd Vassallo

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 1/4/2016 8:32:00 PM
Mesmerized by this one , really a great capturing one ...thank you very much for sharing this delightful poem.....hugs / / :) dalia.
Login to Reply
Date: 5/26/2015 5:03:00 PM
moved by your poem. SK
Login to Reply
Date: 9/29/2014 1:35:00 PM
Nicely written.. I love the theme. I love how it was crafted and the choice of words are great! Hope to read more of your works soon ^^
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/29/2014 11:07:00 PM
Many many thanks Dear Doris, It is my pleasure to have a visitor like you... I will be visiting you regularly... Stay blessed dear// Malik
Date: 9/28/2014 8:04:00 AM
I like the originality of this write. Your motif being the main figure who you address with sadness. Your 'carpet' will only be complete if she were to come back to you. // paul
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/28/2014 10:55:00 PM
Thanks Paul, I like the way you made the crux of these lines... i will be a regular visitor of your profile. Stay Blesssed
Date: 9/27/2014 10:12:00 AM
Stimulating. But what does "deft" and "weft" mean? Peace & Love Matthew Anish
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/28/2014 2:48:00 AM
Weft can be called as the yarn or the parallel threads which run from one end to other and over them the carpet is woven, deft can be called as the siklfull person.
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/28/2014 2:48:00 AM
Thanks for your visit dear
Date: 9/26/2014 9:06:00 AM
Malik . . . Extraordinarily fantastic work here with the Triolet format, which is a very tough one to do. You've handled this one superbly!! and it's a "7" definitely in my book. You may want to check the word "Incogorous" out however. I think you meant "Incongruous." Just a thought. I enjoyed the message of your poem here immensely!! Cheers and All the Best, Gary
Login to Reply
Bateman Avatar
Gary Bateman
Date: 9/26/2014 5:01:00 PM
Malik . . . Thanks for your note. I will be happy to read your works. You have an open invitation always to read mine and comment. It's great for us to be able to exchange ideas. Have a wonderful weekend!! Cheer and My Best Wishes, Gary
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/26/2014 9:30:00 AM
Much welcome Mr. Gary for your comment and for pointing out the typing error, I read it what I meant but 'n' slipped cleverly.. Thanks for your sincere and kind words, Highly appreciated. hope you will keep visiting me.. Good bless you sir
Date: 9/26/2014 7:18:00 AM
May your carpwt be weaved to perfection with your loved one's return.A beautiful tapestry of words.Tnks for visiting my poetry-Charma: )
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/26/2014 7:27:00 AM
Thanks for your kind words and best wishes,,, Malik
Date: 9/26/2014 4:08:00 AM
really beautifully painted malik
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/26/2014 5:28:00 AM
Liam , many many thanks, your comments are always welcome.
Date: 9/25/2014 11:28:00 PM
Great flow, nice words chosen..:) like like! It looks easy for you..:)
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/25/2014 11:47:00 PM
thanks Olive...
Date: 9/25/2014 9:30:00 AM
Nicely done Triolet on the love and break up, Malik
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/25/2014 10:51:00 PM
your words are always welcome Dr. Mehta, I feel like privileged when you comment on my write. hope you will keep visiting me. God Bless you
Date: 9/25/2014 7:57:00 AM
You did a wonderful job with this difficult form. Thank you.
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/25/2014 10:49:00 PM
many many thanks for your visit Mr Maurice, encouraging words are much needed.... God bless you
Date: 9/25/2014 5:16:00 AM
Enjoyed reading your creative work..I am glad that I chose this one to read today.Great use of weaver's terms to interweave a poem..Thanks for the visit to my page..Sara
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/25/2014 5:18:00 AM
thanks for your visit and kind words,,, these words are like nourishment to the budding poets alike me.
Date: 9/25/2014 4:26:00 AM
Intriguing with hidden meaning so beautifully interwoven! Excellent my friend, Malik!
Login to Reply
Yaseen Avatar
Ma Yaseen
Date: 9/25/2014 4:46:00 AM
Thanks sir, your words mean a lot.... Feel glad you like my write... God Bless

Book: Shattered Sighs