Why Loss

and I still don’t know why you’ve done this to me I’ve lost so much and yet you insist again and again and again on making me lose more. it was so much easier believing you didn’t love me don’t still love me because then I don’t have to see that I might still love you too. and I’m afraid. I’m afraid that I’ll live in the land of emotionality too long for me to pull myself out and I’m afraid for the state of my mind my dignity my self-respect if that line rings and you give me all I want to hear. and I still don’t know why you’ve done this to me I’ve lost so much and yet you insist again and again and again on making me lose more. if you understood the toll you take what I’ve had to pay out to pass your bridge you wouldn’t ask silly questions that only bring you and me more grief and more tears than are probably warranted for I knew you I knew of you so I can’t blame anyone but myself. so I still don’t know why I’ve done this to me I’ve lost so much and yet I insist again and again and again on making me lose more.