Why Loss
and I still don’t know why
you’ve done this to me
I’ve lost so much
and yet you insist
again and again and again
on making me lose more.
it was so much easier
believing you didn’t
love me
don’t still
love me
because then I don’t have to see
that I might still
love you too.
and I’m afraid.
I’m afraid that I’ll live
in the land of emotionality
too long
for me to pull myself out
and I’m afraid for the state
of my mind
my dignity
my self-respect
if that line rings
and you give me
all I want to hear.
and I still don’t know why
you’ve done this to me
I’ve lost so much
and yet you insist
again and again and again
on making me lose more.
if you understood
the toll you take
what I’ve had to pay out
to pass your bridge
you wouldn’t ask silly questions
that only bring you and me
more grief
and more tears
than are probably warranted
for I knew you
I knew of you
so I can’t blame anyone
but myself.
so
I still don’t know why
I’ve done this to me
I’ve lost so much
and yet I insist
again and again and again
on making me lose more.
Copyright © Allison Kinzy | Year Posted 2007
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