Why Did You Order An Assault Rifle

My AK-47 will arrive sometime today. I am horrified. Why did you order an assault rifle? To hunt. To hunt what? Deer. I stare at her. Wild pigs? I glare at her. People? She says slowly. I wait in hiding for the package to arrive. Snatch it off her porch and smash that Ak-47 up into tiny pieces. It is not easy, but I have a hatchet, a machete and an iron will. My grandma is in the throes of dementia. I doubt her home health nurse will return if she gets plugged in the face with an assault rifle. I took grandma’s credit card too. The only thing I could not get was her car keys. She has them attached to her chastity belt with a ring.