Why, Daddy
I love my stepdad; he's the only dad I know.
From him I know that I can learn and grow.
I can look up to him because he's my role model
And I am so blessed to have him as my father.
Even though he leaves me black and blue daily,
It's our little secret because he is my family.
He drinks to the point where he becomes another
And there's nothing no one can do, not even my mother.
He hates me because I wasn't born of his blood,
My true roots he willingly drags through the mud.
I get lost in the shuffle; who am I really?
This man who I love has become a big bully.
Grabbing me by an ankle, holding me upside down,
The warm blood rushing to my head is making me drown.
An unfolded belt is the weapon against my skin
And I can't quite understand how this is happening.
He beats me with his fists and he spews hateful things
Like "stupid piece of s***" and that I will amount to nothing.
I use my small arms to reach out to stop the abuse
But my 5-year old body is overpowered by the booze.
I love him so much but he hates me all the time
And that alone boggles my tiny 5-year old mind,
Coupled with the beatings, I can't wrap my head around it,
Like, why he doesn't hug me but instead, he prefers to hit.
Daddy, please stop hitting me, I promise I will be good.
I promise to do anything that a good little girl should.
*SLAP* is all I feel as I taste the copper in my mouth.
I'm lightheaded as the pain travels my body north to south.
I don't know what to do; I'm completely helpless
And I have no one to protect me; I feel completely hopeless.
I love my daddy so much but he hates me.
God, if You're up there, please save me from my Daddy.
Copyright © Constance Gilmore | Year Posted 2012
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