Why

Why did God give me a big heart that loves anyone and everyone who do me wrong? Why did he make me so forgiving? I smile when it hurts. Why did God make me this way? I don't understand it and I honestly don't want it. I sometimes wish I had a cold heart that was frozen with hatred, but alas a harden heart will never be mine because mines is a burning white hot flame of love and warmth and refuses to be put out. My determination to end the pain and suffering of those closest and dearest to me is like a runaway train that absolutely will not stop because it has no breaks. I hate that I'm so nice to those who have wronged me when they don't deserve my kindness. Why did u make me this way God? Please tell me why.