Why

Surrounded by people but feeling alone Wearing a smile not really my own Not caring if I live or I die Wake up each morning ad wondering why Thinking of death more often than not Although this is the only life that I got Don’t believe in a heaven or hell But I could be wrong only time will tell Pain works better than those pills that I take Narrows my world but keeps me awake Would drink all the time but I cannot Took some tests anomy liver is shot A slow lingering death is not in my plan I’d want to go as fast as I can Insurance won’t pay for a suicide So for now I guess I’m along for the ride My wife and my kid are rally good and I’d give my life for them if only i could But for now I will just hang around and hope for the best Knowing that I’ll have forever to rest.