Whoa, Nellie, Whoa

A lot of fancy gizmos befuddle me in this technological age, Where perplexing computers, texting and twittering are all the rage! I can empathize with the feller who renounced horse and buggy days, To subdue the baffling horseless carriage that became all the craze! Clyde Schlunk reluctantly retired his faithful horse and buggy wheels. He was the first in town to own one of those new fangled automobiles! 'Twas simple to harness a horse, feed him oats and shoe him all those years. Now he must master complex clutches, cranks and shifting gears! 'Twas hard to break years of habits spent driving a buggy and horse. He still had his buggy whip near at hand in the automobile of course! When trying to stop the machine he'd yell, "Whoa! Nellie! Whoa!" As he tried to avoid a tree or slid through slippery sleet and snow! His erratic driving terrified chickens, horses and little old ladies, As he whipped about that sedate little town like a bat out of Hades! The only pain he suffered from his horse was a kick now and then. But when cranking the carriage he busted his knuckles over and over again! He still hollered "haw" to turn to the left and "gee" to turn to the right! Did the town folks' ridicule bother him? Not by a blame sight! Clyde never learned how to control those forty horses under the hood. He couldn't rein 'em in causing all sorts of havoc in the neighborhood! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved Placed No. 2 in Joyce Johnson's "Your Very Best" Contest - February 2011