Who Am I

Who am I?
That’s something I wonder everyday 
From being delighted to traumatized
Is something quite normal for me
From feeling emptiness to unease
Overthinking every mistake I’ve ever made
To every action I’ve decided to take 
Butterfly effect?
A concept flowing through my brain
If I could change one detail in my life
What a bizarre change of events that would be 
Would I feel and be the same person today?
Who am I?
Not too tall, not too short 
Not too pretty, but not too ugly
A bit ordinary, but never extraordinary 
Not average but not intelligent 
Skinny, but thank god she’s not fat they say!
Olive skin, but shiny and red marks on my face 
Why do you look so tired they say
I say I’m fine, thanks
I look in the mirror and I see those dry tears
I think stupid 
Puffy, red eyes, oily hair
I think lazy 
Skinny, a visible breastbone and hipbones 
I think eat more
Restless, uneasy, trembling 
I realize this person is me 
How did she become like this? My mother says 
I hear this late at night when I’m tumbling in bed 
All I can hear is  disappointment 
Not just to everyone but to myself
Someone please help 

-Who am I?

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David Smith

Date: 4/12/2019 1:02:00 AM

Congratulations on putting into words what so many people seem to be feeling these days. I think you would be surprised how many people may think of you as a cool person. You should read my poem The Wilderness Years. I am currently have chemotherapy at present but all signs good. I have also just retired. Hope you realise how inspirational your poem is and that you continue to post and grow as a poet on Poetry Soup. Very Best Regards David in NZ

Mystery Girl
Date: 4/12/2019 6:17:00 AM

I am very genuinely surprised that people feel this way about my writing. Thank you, so much for your kind words. It means a lot. Poetry really heals my souls at dark times. I wish you the best with everything and I will pray for you.

Mystery Girl

Date: 12/27/2018 10:37:00 AM

Thank you all so much :)

P.M. Richter

Date: 12/24/2018 2:36:00 PM

The best question to reflect and meditate upon. Excellent poem.

Gabriel Cutmore

Date: 12/24/2018 1:51:00 PM

The struggle of defining one's self can be a tough one. With so many expectations to be something in this world, we often can lose sight of the expectations we must have for ourselves to ensure happiness and self love. Be strong and love yourself. If you find something about yourself you don't love about you, change it in the healthiest way possible. Repeat until you know who you are and don't allow yourself to be bothered by the opinions and expectations of others.