Where Did They Go
So many faces moved through the desks in my classroom
sitting uncomfortably at first
waiting to be reprieved…
Odd little faces with no smiles to be uncovered or
handsome young men who had not found
themselves or their puberty
Strange veneers that covered countenances
hiding
unspeakable horrors delving into the psyche
lost children of abuse, hunger, abandonment
The boy who lived in his car for three weeks until
he deigned tell his best friend, who told another
and another…
this comely boy killed himself
and his loving, alcoholic drug filled parents
How could I ignore the teacher across the hall,
when a young boy comes crying
that his teacher had felt of him…
“Sit on lap and let me hold you...,” he would say to these
innocent, tender, trusting minds
discovery led the swine home, to lie in his tub
and pull the trigger
Did I feel responsible?
maybe...not for the twisted, evil man but for his abused boys
others
Those cheery, little chirping girls searching for a
heroine to model their future seemingly so far away
they had to reach through the stars
Visages that wander in and out of my memories
the wives, fathers, sex abusers, drug addicts, thieves, ministers,
doctors, lawyers, ditch diggers…infinitum…
Did I touch any of their needs
was I the model to be looked up to
what could I have said that would have made a difference
Were they able to peek behind my too often stern, teacherish facade
discerning that I to suffered, spending my young womanhood
with a man who did not value me, who cheated…
but that is beside the point…
Who am I to make a judgement call
I who needed to be kinder
more attentive,
more loving
I never relinquished my guise...forgive me
where are those sweet faces...I long for them
Don’t pester me with questions any more
I have no answers for anyone
not even for me
© Carol Davis, 3 days ago
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