Where Did They Go

So many faces moved through the desks in my classroom sitting uncomfortably at first waiting to be reprieved… Odd little faces with no smiles to be uncovered or handsome young men who had not found themselves or their puberty Strange veneers that covered countenances hiding unspeakable horrors delving into the psyche lost children of abuse, hunger, abandonment The boy who lived in his car for three weeks until he deigned tell his best friend, who told another and another… this comely boy killed himself and his loving, alcoholic drug filled parents How could I ignore the teacher across the hall, when a young boy comes crying that his teacher had felt of him… “Sit on lap and let me hold you...,” he would say to these innocent, tender, trusting minds discovery led the swine home, to lie in his tub and pull the trigger Did I feel responsible? maybe...not for the twisted, evil man but for his abused boys others Those cheery, little chirping girls searching for a heroine to model their future seemingly so far away they had to reach through the stars Visages that wander in and out of my memories the wives, fathers, sex abusers, drug addicts, thieves, ministers, doctors, lawyers, ditch diggers…infinitum… Did I touch any of their needs was I the model to be looked up to what could I have said that would have made a difference Were they able to peek behind my too often stern, teacherish facade discerning that I to suffered, spending my young womanhood with a man who did not value me, who cheated… but that is beside the point… Who am I to make a judgement call I who needed to be kinder more attentive, more loving I never relinquished my guise...forgive me where are those sweet faces...I long for them Don’t pester me with questions any more I have no answers for anyone not even for me © Carol Davis, 3 days ago