April Jones | + Follow Poet |
I do not know? | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

When Reality Hits

I don't know why I don't show my feelings
Sometimes i wonder if i have them anymore
Or am i just trying to even out the score
People treated me like nothing for so long 
I am just trying to show them how it feels
To be broken for so long but still be afraid to admit it
To tell your self to suck it up because no one will ever get it
To cry behind close doors because if you did it in public you would be called weak
To be so terrified of people 
So you skip school for weeks
Because you felt like you had no friends or no who could relate 
So you shove pills down your throat  because you had no more faith
Then to hold you wrist up and slice
but the pain you feel could not be refilled by a knife
To just give up on life
But worst of all to not have a clue about what you going through
To just think your crazy or different
To not know your suffering from depression
Then it turns in to aggression
And you get mad at the people around you
Because you felt like they are the ones that cause it 
maybe they could of did a little bit more 
cared or pay a little bit more attention
instead of thinking i was just being a normal teen
Thinking that you were  just skipping school drinking alcohol and smoking weed
To not actually ask question just make up assumptions
To be crying and begging for help
and still remain help less
And that would be the best punishment of all
To match their pain with your
But you should never let you pride be to big and shallow to ask for help
But when reality hit when i when to the mental hospital and realized that i wasn't the only one going through thiis
That people could relate
And that it wasn't health to be filled with so much hate
So i changed my mind state
And learned to forgive 
And when people saw me start to change i was forgiven
But i was stuck with one decision
Should i hold on to the past or forget and keep on living
Because the only thing worst that dying is realizing that you haven't lived
And i finally made my decision ... I wanted to live

Please Login to post a comment