When Nursery Rhymes Attack
A Compendium
Whoops a daisy, Auntie Maisie’s lying on the floor
She just put on my roller skates she won’t do that no more
No one knew that she was there until we heard her squeals
What a shame her Zimmer frame won’t work with feet on wheels
****
Tiddles got his claws under the fish tank’s metal lid
He fished around and that became the last thing that he did
Blood was flying everywhere and that was quite a drama
Some landed on a picture book called ‘How To Keep Piranha’
****
The ghostly ghoul went through the wall, and not the open door
In his hands he held the hat he used to wear before
Timmy’s bones were shaking as he stared up from his bed
The ghost approached his bed and said, have you seen my head
****
Timmy sat there in his push chair counting building bricks
He was very clever and he’d got to twenty six
He told his mum to wait because he had to count them all
His mum said that will take too long, ’cause that’s the Albert Hall
****
The alien had practiced on his ten year trip through space
And soon he would communicate with the human race
He felt smug that he’d learned the language as he travelled far
Until a two foot human being said, goo goo gaa gaa
The alien was upset and he got back in his craft
He came here feeling clever but now he just felt daft
He took off and he sped away to planet Zandoss Nine
And Mark the midget told his mate, that gets em every time
***
Teacher saw the cows and said you mustn't run or shout
Timmy saw his lace undone and bent to sort it out
He didn’t run, nor did he shout, nor did he bring a Mac
Which might have helped when he received a big pat on the back
Copyright © Terry Flood | Year Posted 2021
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