When I Become You

In stillness moves the blade of grass
the heart still beats in the silence of night
songbirds greet the days beginning and ending
             when there are shadows, there are my fears

        In breath there is life beating still
the mouse waits in the night for silence
even songbirds are quiet after the light is gone
              when I face my fears the shadows remain

        In silence the night hears the heartbeat
in being still, I am the songbird and the mouse
with the night the grass bends when the owl swoops
               when I become the shadow there is no fear

Brian's contest   1st place
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020

Poem

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Krutsinger Avatar
July 10, 2020 at 5:07 PM
Beautifully done; so metaphorically sound. Congratulations Jeanne
Mcgee Avatar
July 10, 2020 at 5:55 PM
Caren, I loved this too. THank you for that comment. It is nice.
Schiavina Avatar
July 10, 2020 at 9:34 AM
Congratulations on your beautifully deep well deserved first place win!
Mcgee Avatar
July 10, 2020 at 1:21 PM
Hi frances. thank you for stopping in to read this poem...it's quickly becoming one of my favorites too. Jeanne
Kelii Kekaula Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 7:10 PM
"...when I become the shadow there is no fear", amazingly well-penned, Jeanne, apprehensibly mesmerizing worthy of high honors at winning 1st Place -- Aloha~@William
Mcgee Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 9:11 PM
Aloha...I love that word and meaning...and place. and thank you for the kind words. all the best to you. Jeanne
Watt Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 12:45 PM
Your title drew me in, and your words held me captive. The depiction of facing your fears using the totems of songbird, mouse, and owl were tantalizing, and have such a universal appeal. Excellent poetry, Jeanne, and worthy of the win. Congrats ~ John
Mcgee Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 9:10 PM
Thank you John. I'm glad it was not a disappointment once you were lured in for the read! lol. I really do appreciate your words. Jeanne
Kauffman Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 12:30 PM
This is a masterfully crafted poem, Jeanne. It is filled with rich imagery and depth. Congratulations on your first place! Blessings to you.
Kauffman Avatar
July 9, 2020 at 11:22 AM
Hi Jeanne! Will keep your niece in my thoughts and prayers.
Mcgee Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 9:08 PM
Hi Sam. Thanks for the comments. I'm happy with getting to write a bit each day and see where it goes...this has been down inside for awhile as a worry for my niece and wishes for her a good life. I really appreciate your comments.
Chiri Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 7:46 AM
Congrats on your top win!
Mcgee Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 9:07 PM
Hi Brenda, hope you are doing well. Thank you for the comment.
Mishra Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 6:50 AM
I love your delightful enchanting muse Jeanne. This one really makes me feel the music of the night blanketing my dreams. Congratulations on your win. Much love :)
Mcgee Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 9:06 PM
Hello dear Aditi. I love that Brian is having these contests where we can just write what bubbles up inside and see where it goes. Best to you by dear poetess.
Brul Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 2:52 AM
Wow, I love how you weave the last line of each stanza..Very well-written! Congratulations on TOP WIN! A fave!
Mcgee Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 9:05 PM
Wow, thanks JCB, It's written for my youngest niece. :D
Venkata Ramana Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 2:51 AM
when there are shadows, there are my fears when I become the shadow there is no fear wonderful justification.Congrats!
Mcgee Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 9:05 PM
Hello Patri, thanks for stopping by and for the comment. Much appreciated. Jeannd
Michael Avatar
July 6, 2020 at 1:28 PM
Correct, when you become the shadow there's no more fear...Well done
Mcgee Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 9:04 PM
Thank Arturo. Hope you are well. xoxo
Wanter Avatar
July 6, 2020 at 10:27 AM
Both beautiful and profound!
Mcgee Avatar
July 8, 2020 at 9:04 PM
I love how a poem starts and then takes shape without you knowing where it is going or what it is about until you are started.
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