When Did This Happen?

I just feel like I’m losing, Losing that hard fought game, That ‘ere I thought I was winning. That gushing speed of change Quicksilver and bursting With life and energy, that I can’t, No matter how hard I try, Seem to harness. All that I had, the talents I treasured, Are smoke, and ash, and dust. Forgotten foresight brings not them back To my waiting embrace That will wait ‘Till the midnight, But not chase. And worse still, the new plain, that I Had thought to consummate Seems beyond my reach! A closed door on whose threshold I stand And weep at the absence of the key I feel I should have But that I cannot for the life of me locate. And each knock is louder, And each blow is harder, And my fingers That claw desperately at the rough surface Are weary and farther And farther from the likelihood of success. So sat on this silent, lonely porch, Where it seems I must reside, I grasp at the tails of the 2 sides of potential: One running, laughing down the gravel path, And the other On the other side of the door With one eyebrow raised.