Home » Poems » L Milton Hankins » What Not To Steal

What Not To Steal

I don’t mind they stole my car
But they took my cellphone, too,
I have no way to call for help,
Now what in the world shall I do?. 

Written August 13, 2022

how i feelhumorouslight verse

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Caren Krutsinger

August 16, 2022 at 11:58 PM

Joe got mugged by two men once- he said he thought he was dead. He could tell one wanted to kill him - they both had guns and he was in a motel room when they pushed their way in. He said "at least leave me a quarter to call my wife" and one smiled and he lived.

L Milton Hankins

August 17, 2022 at 8:03 AM

I had a similar situation when I was hijacked in my car, but I managed to escape by calling his bluff. Sometime I'll tell you the whole story, if I have not already. Anyway, it was a harrowing situation. I'm glad Joe kept his presence of mind, because that is one's only salvation in that kind of situation.

Michael Tor

August 14, 2022 at 10:31 PM

Walk home. Just a suggestion. Yes my friend that is a predicament I would not like to experience...

Michael Tor

August 15, 2022 at 1:57 PM

Oh we can't do that then. Ha.

L Milton Hankins

August 15, 2022 at 8:26 AM

But, Michael, I'm twenty miles from home, and I'm only able to walk about a block and a half! (chuckling)

John Lawless

August 14, 2022 at 5:50 PM

for starters...don't leave your New cell phone in your next car.

L Milton Hankins

August 14, 2022 at 6:01 PM

That's a very good solution, John. Normally, I put it in my front pants pocket...and that has raised some eyebrows. Actually, this really never happened. It's another one that just popped into my head from out of the blue!

Ilene Bauer

August 14, 2022 at 2:00 PM

you've described our obsession with cell phones so well, milton! it is amazing that we once got along pretty well without them...

L Milton Hankins

August 14, 2022 at 5:42 PM

Oh, how I wish we still could, but we'd have to go back about a hundred years or so. And, back then, communication was a very slow, arduous process.

Rico Leffanta

August 14, 2022 at 11:49 AM

This is America, so you just buy a new car with a more challenging security system! After all, the teenager who stole your car just needed a joy ride, and why should he be penalised for wanting to have fun? Aloha!

Rico Leffanta

August 15, 2022 at 10:59 AM

When I first moved to Hawai'i, I thought crime would be well controlled on an island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, but quickly learnt it was not worth while to buy a car, bike, or scooter, as theft was a daily event. Where could they go? Even "lost" bicycles are auctioned off by the Police for profit! No jest! Aloha!

L Milton Hankins

August 14, 2022 at 12:15 PM

Rico, surely you jest!

David Kavanagh

August 14, 2022 at 11:29 AM

So then Milton are they an addiction, or an absolute essential, I go with the former myself, they are so infuriatingly handy, I got a good laugh from your sardonic sendup, cheers David

L Milton Hankins

August 14, 2022 at 12:17 PM

Oh, David, I suppose they are a little of both. I get aggravated that I have to take my cellphone with me everywhere, lest I need it for an emergency. So, yeah, it's both.

Jenna Logan

August 14, 2022 at 9:21 AM

We've become a captive to our phones. How did we ever get along without them? Now, they seem to be an implant of the hand.

L Milton Hankins

August 14, 2022 at 9:41 AM

So true. They have come to be the most necessary thing in our day-to-day life. I remember when it was rumored, a number of years ago, to cause brain cancer. Remember?

Tom Cunningham

August 14, 2022 at 8:37 AM

How on earth did we manage without them but we certainly did long ago. They have their uses though, you can talk to people, read the latest news, use as a satnav, play music, write poetry and even take pictures. But it doesn't solve your problem lol. Tom

L Milton Hankins

August 14, 2022 at 8:43 AM

So true, Tom. I can do almost anything but get help when I really need it most. (chuckling)