What My Fate Says

I tried to control what is mine i tried searching for answers hidden from me but i cannot seem to find out why why my fate is more cruel than what i see i held sins that are unforgivable i held marks and scars of my evil past but God is of all Merciful why am i not able to live normally, i would ask cant be loved, would not be able to love that is what my fate says my heart bears the pain every night to see that every moment i cant have each day so what am i supposed to do my life feels different from everyone else i cannot feel love or gain love an emotion i feel most and now it is hell so what am i supposed to do when all my desire for someone is just hollow inside what am i supposed to feel when i am not allowed to have love once it is bind.. no freedom to live what you want that is what my fate says and there goes my life...