What I'Ve Done

Stephanie understand I am torn A part of me needs you Another part despises you Both parts are lies Yet both parts are true These emotions are messing me up What have I done You took my hand and held it through rumors and troubles But when the tables turned I decided to run You put up with my childish schemes You gave me a peace that I had previously only felt in my dreams I will never forget February 15th For the first time Samantha didn't haunt my mind That day I felt peace love and happiness And at the first whisper I left it behind I have to admit you moved on easily for me being you first Between my regret, this inner battle, and how you handled it I don't know which is worst Which raises the question Were you really going to try to use me And if you were why would I care I am not scared to fight anyone And surely the pain and humiliation would be easy to bare So why was I so quick to run I didn't cheat on you Van Matre made sure I didn't have that kind of "fun" Yes Amanda was on my phone But you outnumbered her five to one And now I regret saying those lies They were just childish and foolish and immature Just stupid lies to try to bring tears to your eyes I bet that now you are happy I ran Regardless of what I say, what I've done, or what I can do I am a boy not a man And I wont be until I can end my inner rage Another thing I must admit and hopefully you understand You soothed my rage with the touch of your hand But once again I am nothing more than an island Surrounded by oceans of regret and self irate Once again a desperate soldier preparing for his final stand Trying not to break or bend But I am guessing what I've done Made it the end