What I'Ve Done
Stephanie understand I am torn
A part of me needs you
Another part despises you
Both parts are lies
Yet both parts are true
These emotions are messing me up
What have I done
You took my hand and held it through rumors and troubles
But when the tables turned I decided to run
You put up with my childish schemes
You gave me a peace that I had previously only felt in my dreams
I will never forget February 15th
For the first time Samantha didn't haunt my mind
That day I felt peace love and happiness
And at the first whisper I left it behind
I have to admit you moved on easily for me being you first
Between my regret, this inner battle, and how you handled it
I don't know which is worst
Which raises the question
Were you really going to try to use me
And if you were why would I care
I am not scared to fight anyone
And surely the pain and humiliation would be easy to bare
So why was I so quick to run
I didn't cheat on you
Van Matre made sure I didn't have that kind of "fun"
Yes Amanda was on my phone
But you outnumbered her five to one
And now I regret saying those lies
They were just childish and foolish and immature
Just stupid lies to try to bring tears to your eyes
I bet that now you are happy I ran
Regardless of what I say, what I've done, or what I can do
I am a boy not a man
And I wont be until I can end my inner rage
Another thing I must admit and hopefully you understand
You soothed my rage with the touch of your hand
But once again I am nothing more than an island
Surrounded by oceans of regret and self irate
Once again a desperate soldier preparing for his final stand
Trying not to break or bend
But I am guessing what I've done
Made it the end
Copyright © Nathan Stobbs | Year Posted 2010
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