What Is Regret
That one time when I was 8
And lied about being able
To hold my breath for
30 seconds and
Blacked out.
The chlorine,
The rush.
The salty taste somewhat reminiscent of blood
The feeling of standing on a cliff
And wanting to look down but you
Can’t
And you don’t know if you ever will again.
Like when you get to the top and
Sit on the edge and wonder what would happen
If you fell
Only to realize you already are?
Falling.
That moment when you jump into water but
It was a bit too far and
Now you hurt all over?
Or when I was 10 and
Standing on top of the monkey bars
And I stumbled and fell
And suddenly everything burned
The treetops were on fire
Just like my lungs
I couldn't breathe
Oh god
What did air taste like?
I had forgotten.
Seconds later
A heaving breath brought me back to
Calm and I was
Okay.
But thats all we can hope for
All I can hope for
Regret is lemonade without the
Sugar.
Best served cold.
Just to move forward
To Continue
To be okay
To breathe.
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