What Is My Anonymous

it's the ache on the inside of my soul a deep dark hole that never gets filled seeking someone to soothe the pain erase the shame unable to control my need for riding fast in the fast car lane a brain clouded from last night's drink unable to think about "where do i go from here" to erase the loneliness looking for success in a crowded bar faces blending never bending to the cha ching of the slot machine when the smoke from the pipe is not all it's cracked up to be when the needle hanging from my arm has lost its charm sound the alarm is that sirens i hear taking me somewhere near to sew up this hole that eats away at the bottomless pit of my soul a mouth to full to except another spoonful of food never hitting the empty spot housed within stop did i eat yesterday ate too much threw it up anyway stranger in my bed no one said life would be easy on easy street peeking from bruised eyes trying to disguise the shame of last night's drunken tirade wondering "who am i" believing that i deserve this black eye this empty hole burning on the inside of my soul uncontrollable waves of an angry sea a never-ending rage tormenting me you turn your head pretend that you don't see these battles i fight helplessly rape by whose definition incest a passing fantasy molested by a society who told me that i was no good since the beginning of time when light is right dark is the black night lurking with evil shadows life has lost all sense of reason reasons make no sense cover my head under the bed searching for the gun in the locked shoe box the pills on the shelf i tell myself hanging from the window ledge screaming where is what is my anonymous