What If I Say Please

Is it safe to eat it? Is it safe to eat? Well if you cook, I wouldn’t miss a beat But if I make it, and it’s not bacon Better watch out, there may be some doubt What if I say please Come on man, you can do this with ease Help me out here I’m hungry I’m hungry My culinary skills are lacking Even the eggs they’re all cracking I can boil a box of macaroni But are the noodles supposed to be so soggy? What if I say please Come on man, you can do this with ease Help me out here I’m hungry I’m hungry What? I can’t turn up the flame and jump in the shower? I’ll only be in there for a short quarter hour The chicken needs time to cook, does it not? I added a bunch of oil and even some salt What if I say please Come on man, you can do this with ease Help me out here I’m hungry I’m hungry I know it looks like I’m squeezing the tomato Really I’m just trying to slice it like a potato Why won’t the knife go through the skin? Ow, is that my blood or juice from the tomato thing What if I say please Come on man, you can do this with ease Help me out here I’m hungry I’m hungry You know dear, you have refined cooking skills And what they say still That the way to the heart is through the food So I’m asking you It’s not a special occasion And no my heart’s not aching But I’m hungry man, I’m hungry And you’re so good at this cooking stuff, yea So I’m asking you this time I’m asking please be mine No it’s not Valentine’s But please be mine I’m hungry I’m hungry I told you before right? * You make great pizza pie How did I survive this long? That’s what you have to say after I wrote you this song?! Now how long do I leave the pasta in the water? Do I add salt? What about oil? Why is your mouth open but you’re not saying anything? Man, I guess I’m ordering out again... *starting here, these lines are spoken not sung, fading out at the end