What If I Meet a Polar Bear Today

What will I do if I meet a polar bear in the wild? It depends. If I am scared I will hide in my red and black wool plaid sleeping bag, and play dead. Hoping he does not paw me out and eat me or rip my sleeping bag apart with his mighty teeth before they sink into my soft pink unwilling flesh. If I am delighted when I come across my polar bear I might take a selfie with her. It could be posted after my death as it most probably will be my last selfie, especially if she has a cub. If I feel feisty I might dare the polar bear to a fish-eating contest, but if the shrimp is the fish, and they Are fried, or toasted in coconut with sweet tangy orange sauce, I will win, and then probably get chased and eaten. Damn. I am beginning to see a little pattern here.