What If

The warmth of the ice cold snow. Runs down my face and melts in my glow. The sun is so far away the wind blows a chill. My heart beats so hot it makes my body shrill. No more the cold heat of a love lost. I understand my lonliness now because. The world is not for good people like me. I always thought it would be. No love loss because no love was gained. Each day I awake to nothing new, Just aways the same. I am happy to be uninportant nothing gained with fame. Maybe the elusive butterflies will find me one day. And make me say to someone special You really make my spirit soar and sing. What is this thing everyone calls love. I know I never felt it in this life even through strife. They say always love with heart and soul. I cannot do this kind of lie. It would never be a goal. So what to be, who to want, what to empower. What symbols are love? Is it a person, an object a flower? When you look back do you remember the good. Or do you resemble the sweet of bitter I never understand which is the better. So here at night as I write my thoughts. I tick the crosses and delete the noughts. What is good what is bad in me. I know when I was young I was a good seed. I dont lie dont cheat or do any bad deed. So why do I feel angry at the world its always against me. Then I remember all those worse off than I. That makes my heart hurt makes me cry. I want to live forever never die. But one day I will be free. Or will I have more to grieve. No one knows the journeys we take once we are gone. Maybe there are few or just the one. I hope its better than this and more fun.