What I See In the Mirror

Every morning I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, witness to the decay of my body as time has gained an equal measure of revenge on me. I want to turn away as I wonder how another huge wrinkle could appear on my sagging ass cheeks while I slept? I know it wasn’t there last night. There is something inherently unfair about this turn of events. When I look at myself I see the wrinkles extend from cheek to cheek, almost around to my side. I am beginning to think my ass looks more like a section of the great Marianas Trench in the Pacific Ocean; deep and wide. Both parcels of the trench seem to be collapsing in on the other and not just in a minor way. We are talking about a major Teutonic shift as my ass cheeks slowly press together and not in an uplifting manner. It is not a very pretty sight when I am naked in front of the bathroom mirror and look down at the shifting landscape that are my ass cheeks. Even more frightening than my ass cheeks collapse is that my waist has become an expanding volcano with an uncontrolled pyroclastic flow. It doesn’t matter how I position myself in the mirror or what time of day it might be, I can now see the simultaneous collapse of my ass and explosion of my waist; is it possible that opposites attract? I have come to the conclusion I have no control over this unexpected turn of events. I am resigned to the inevitable outcome that is going to occur. But, the good news is that I still have all my hair while the rest of my body collapses into nothing more than a faded memory and not a very good one.