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What I Miss Most Are the Words Left Unsaid

Today, is the first day of the rest of my life alone.
You were there at my birth, and now I am here at your passing.

Time seems so long, ever ticking, until one day it stops and you wonder where it went.
You were there for every major milestone in my life, graduation, marriage, and now me becoming a man alone without a Father.

Today you went to See Jesus; I guess some journeys one must travel alone.

I hope that the lessons you taught me, and the love you showed will forever be present in my mind,

For as sand slips through the hourglass, hair turns salty grey, and memories seem to fade, one thinks am I Next?
If so, how long do I have?

I know you loved me, though actions were often more easily expressed than words.

Dad I still love you.

I will miss the moments shared, time spent at the farm, and late chats on the drive home.
But most of all I will miss, the memories that I will never have, for you are now gone.

To say I did not know, is an understatement.

You were in hospital five years ago, but you took your meds, and the doctors said that you would most likely be fine.

I guess five additional years, after knocking at deaths door should be more than enough, 

But it’s not.
 

I guess I maybe greedy, greedy for I still wanted more time.

Time for you, to tell where I fell short, and needed to improve, or simply needed to try harder.

I thought they were harsh then, and now I can only long for one more phrase by which to embrace my life.

I will never see your smile, hear your voice, or have you approve of the man that my daughter will one day marry.

Maybe it’s better to think of the good thoughts, the positive memories, and the life that once was?

Which will ever be changed because you lived.

Tomorrow is another day, but for today, the tears will fill my heart, eyes, and brough.

I will see you some day.

Sincerely.

Your Son.

Author Paul Cumberbatch II (June 2nd, 2020)

Copyright © Paul Cumberbatch | Year Posted 2020

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