What Have I Become
Dark clouds swirl through the recess of my mind.
Trying to find a thought to ground my quaking heart .
Tornados of black swirling round and round .
Earthquakes crack , falling down and down .
Wondering where you are . What you're doing, and whom with.
Trust was shattered, heart imploded, thoughts of evil came abreath.
You gave your word, I gave my trust, a ring upon your hand.
You said some words, my trust was blind, just a foolish man.
You gave no sign, you gave no clue . Had to force the truth from you.
I lost my mind . My heart ceased. Gasping up for air.
Mental racing , logic waining, a reflectionless stare.
Hours pondered hours, thoughts of life and death.
I stayed with you. I gave to you . Our children fueled my will.
Time went on , life renewed. Working day by day .
On me and you and us and them. But evil came to play.
With every word , I hear inside my head,
Truth or lie? My optimism dead.
This sickness of delusion and deceit has nested deep within
Everytime I hear you speak , I tremble once again .
I want to trust , I want to love, but this beast has taken root.
On my back, eating me within.
Jealousy and envy , the unforgiving sin.
Morning sun shines bright , as I wake day by day .
An endless battle of my soul, I fight with all I have .
I love you more than words can say , and I'll fight to the end .
I don't know if I'll win or lose , my walls are closing in .
I hate the person I've become. My skin is wearing thin .
I continue , keep going, trudging through the muk.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe . With any luck,
My torture will soon end.
Copyright © Daniel Berg | Year Posted 2020
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