What Being a Grandma Is About

I have not been in a bathroom with the door closed for nineteen years. This is what being a grandma is all about. If I closed the door, I would either pinch little fingers or the baby punk’n carrier seat would not fit in there with me. I have willingly given up the luxury of privacy, and here is the perk. When I lose my mind for good I plan to stick up a mean-looking Convenience store with bars on the windows. Something in a seedy neighborhood, where the owner is apt to be packing. One of three things will happen. One. I will be shot dead by the clerk who does not know my gun is fake. Two. Death by cop. I am sorry, but if it is to be, it is to be. Three. I will be taken alive, and given a cell and a roommate for the rest of my life. I can stop making house payments, and luckily, I already know privacy is no big deal. Think of all the money my children will save by not having to pay for a nursing home too.