What An Awful Day
Got up this morning
Too busy yawning
To see the pee pot
Spilled the whole lot
With a short kick
Not a recommended trick
Bathroom door was locked
Stood in my pee soaked socks
Flatulence turns to lumps
Underwear full of bumps
Toaster mysteriously jammed
Smoke filled the open plan
Amidst all the chaos
My grip was lost
The bottle smashed
The milk splashed
And the kettle was dry
Almost causing another fire
The car would not start
Despite prayers from the heart
Trying to push the automobile
No movement from the wheels
Battery was flat
Tyres were flat
And I'm late for work
My boss will go beserk
Got to work in empty factory
Seeing no-one made me worry
Observed my paper front page
Date explained it's Saturday
Walking home abusing myself
Mutters heard by noone else
Slipped on a muddy bank
Falling to a sudden land
Covered in dog poop
My embarrassed head droop
Workmen outside my home
Remind me waters no more
A burst pipe was the cause
Nearly answering I paused
Dropped my ashamed head
And went back to bed
I'll sleep the rest of the day
So no more unlucky pain
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