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Waves Crashed Within My Veins

~ This poem is written in the 8686 syllable count style of one of my favorite Emily Dickenson poems, 'I Felt a Funeral in My Brain.'


'pon roiling sea a fierce storm brewed
  waves crashed within my veins
fueled by heady winds, they pursued
  to drown my life with rains

With tympani beat, thunder roared
  bold lightning flicked and flashed
we pulled, we pulled, oh how we oared
  with nature's ire we clashed

Then came a clamor from astern
  our ship had split in two
in my veins, swells still pound and churn
  until the moon breaks through

Calmed now, the vile tempest from Hell
  sky riveted with stars
Man holds no power to dispel
  nature's wrath when she spars

~ For Chris

Copyright © | Year Posted 2018




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Date: 12/7/2018 1:10:00 PM
Such reminds me of the great and brilliant classic poetry of the now famous and ancient bards of old. Your verses entered this old poet's heart and lit a fire to better my own writings my dear friend. This takes a back seat to nothing and my own dedicated but truly humble writings pale in its shining wake... A fav- a gem of luster , purity and of the highest quality!
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Lin Lane
Date: 12/8/2018 7:05:00 PM
What wonderful compliments you've bestowed upon this one, Robert. I always appreciate reading your poetic thoughts. Thank you.
Date: 12/7/2018 1:07:00 PM
Those who cannot appreciate poetry are really missing out on such incredible gifts such as this Lin. I can't imagine my day without poetry playing a part. Thank you for this gift! Happy holidays! : ) xxoo
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Lin Lane
Date: 12/8/2018 7:03:00 PM
I totally agree, Connie. Thanks so much for your insightful remarks.
Date: 12/7/2018 4:27:00 AM
Wow! Got a deep beauty here, Lin, the last line is so true:)
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Lin Lane
Date: 12/7/2018 7:15:00 AM
Thanks ever so much for your gracious thoughts, Jo.
Date: 12/6/2018 11:46:00 AM
A brilliant write Lin, I could taste the salt water reading it. Superb imagery too. I agree with Jan, you should go beyond poetry sites and publish them in a book. Tom
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Lin Lane
Date: 12/6/2018 5:53:00 PM
Merci, Monsieur. Your comments are always very encouraging.
Date: 12/6/2018 8:46:00 AM
Another gem glides seamlessly from your pen Lin, an absolute joy to read it flows so beautifully. You have a remarkable way with words ... you should get your poems published Lin you have a rare gift:-) fave:-) hugs Jan xx
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Chris Green
Date: 12/6/2018 10:42:00 AM
I can't agree more with your comment either. :)
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Lin Lane
Date: 12/6/2018 9:06:00 AM
Many thanks for your sweet words and for thinking my poetry is worthy to fill pages of a book, but I'm content to share them with anyone who takes the time to read them and then reward me with a nice comment like yours.
Date: 12/6/2018 8:40:00 AM
Wow, I loved this. The feel of this was smooth and as seamless as a poem can be. The sign of good poetry to me is losing yourself in the piece as you read and forgetting that you are actually reading. I definitely found myself lost in your words this morning. I love the way the syllable count makes this so song like in my head. This was beautiful Lin and I thank you so much for sharing it here.
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Lin Lane
Date: 12/6/2018 9:02:00 AM
Thank you ever so much for the compliments, Chris. I appreciate your gracious words as much or more than you know. Getting lost in the lines of a poem is the highest commendation I could hope to receive. To Jan...you make a great cheerleader
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JAN ALLISON
Date: 12/6/2018 8:46:00 AM
Can't agree more with your comment xx