Water Wall

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Meter - Trochaic Tetrameter

Rhyme - AA - BB

As he slept in tranquil dream, Suddenly he flew, it seemed. Thrown and landing on the floor, Shaking walls and splintered doors. Just as quick, the room grew still. Distant tremors he could feel. Out the door, and up the rock, There he stood in sleepy shock. How could oceans disappear. Then a hissing he could hear And a trembling, heavy roar Headed for an empty shore. Sunrise turned a greenish hue, As he climbed, a better view. Seeming far too large, he saw What must be a water wall. Thought of ancient stories told Of a wrath that could unfold; Sucking oceans with a breath, Spewing endless waves of death. Instinct quickly cleared his mind. Panic now, he clawed and climbed. Up, despite the screams he hears, As a village disappears. Once an evil came to call, Scooped them up and took them all. Now he's old, his stories wane, Of the morning Satan came. Gene Bourne 08-18-14 . .

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Matt Mcqueeney

Date: 2/9/2016 8:48:00 PM

Wow, one of the best I've ever read.

Thomas Carney

Date: 12/9/2014 7:33:00 AM

Eerie, on my knees crawling with this one, the story line and how you progressed stave to stave was very good. Structurally you were spot on with your Trochaic prosody, I believe Catalexis. You are one of the best meter men around, and I appreciate your gifted poems so much. The last line was about as chilling as it gets, but who now roams the earth to devour and deceive? Congrats. Merry Christmas season. Thomas

Conor Oats

Date: 10/30/2014 6:42:00 AM

Hi Gene, I would actually like to commend you on you're brilliant poem. It's absolutely awesome and I love it. I'm actually analyzing it for my seminar and would really appreciate if you could explain to me a question. What message for society did you intend for this poem to have and how could we benefit with it? I know may appear a bit abstract, but i would really appreciate anything. Kind regards, Conor Oats

Phyllis Babcock

Date: 9/12/2014 11:54:00 PM

You held me captivated with this enchanting tale of the tsunami. Nice use of rhyme and it certainly would be a tale recounted of the time the water came. Excellent. love phyl

Gene Bourne
Date: 9/13/2014 6:41:00 AM

Dear Phyl, I'm humbled by your critique...It inspires me to "write on". You're a thoughtful, gracious friend. Love to you, also.....Gene.

Christine Costello

Date: 8/30/2014 8:29:00 AM

Gene- I was captivated by this poem throughout. It builds and builds. I particularly love the "sucking oceans with a breath...". Beautifully penned. Faved it. :-) Christine

Gene Bourne
Date: 8/30/2014 10:30:00 PM

Thanks, Christine, who I consider a gifted writer, for your kind comments. Your PS friend....Gene

Frederic Parker

Date: 8/18/2014 4:38:00 PM

stunning write about the turmoil within and of the evil in us we must all confront

Gene Bourne
Date: 8/19/2014 6:15:00 AM

Fred...You're running a better average than me. I'll look back at old post and grit my teeth. I guess that's true of all writers. Take care, my friend....Gene

Frederic Parker
Date: 8/18/2014 5:18:00 PM

Gene I think I have one good one for every ten I post

Gene Bourne
Date: 8/18/2014 5:14:00 PM

Thanks, Fred. I hope all goes well with you. I was 50/50 on this poem. Someimes we can't quiet get what we want in a poem. your comments and support are greatly appreciated,....your friend, Gene