Ward 6

Pain gloomy in their eyes i saw and felt. Bed one, two and more men, women in white gowns coming to and fro, caring. In bed seven i saw, Daisy gorgeous and alive, you can't expect she'd be here needing a neurosurgeon.

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem.

Please Login to post a comment

Gwendolen Song

Date: 1/17/2012 5:53:00 AM

Isn't it great to have folks like Robert Petit on this site who have a special eye when they read?...He helps me along too! THANKS ROBERT!... This cute lil poem looks like u are a candy striper or a nurse surveying a medical unit...it has a light hearted feel to it..hope the girl who is going off to neurosurgery ended up doing well,,,Enjoyed. Gwendolen

Charmane Bellen
Date: 1/18/2012 6:04:00 AM

hi! thanks Gwen..and its my sister who undergone surgery and she's doing fine now..

Robert Pettit

Date: 12/30/2011 9:15:00 PM

A good example of an etheree poem. Just correct the spelling of your last word: it's correctly spelled "neurosurgeon". Also, it would be a good idea to change "needed" to "needing". You want to keep that verb in the present tense.

Charmane Bellen
Date: 1/2/2012 9:22:00 AM

hi Mr. Robert,thank you very much for the comment,really appreciate it..thanks and happy new year!