Wanting To Feel Again
I gave in again
After holding back so long
Retreating to my old habits
Carving messages on my arm
It's hard to admit now
Because I have such a good life
Yet I've lacked the urge to feel
Like a black hole swirling inside
Each night, raising the silver
As it colors me red
Digging to find emotions again
While allowing the blade to shred
I believe we were made for more
Than going through life unhappy
So I'd rather slice up my arm like cake
than live life as a zombie
It's not that I really want to cut
But the pain is strong to entice
And the endorphins that kick in:
savoring
Though my wrist must pay the price
So i'll continue my routine
Soaked deep in a stained sleeve
But Shhh okay, they still think I'm
happy
So lets keep this between you and
me
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