Want To Play a Game
You’re sick, demented, and twisted and you want to judge me for my sins? What about yours? The ones that lie deep within
The ones that sculpted you into the person that you are, the ones that broke your mind and left you with these scars
You came riding in on your metaphorical tricycle all masked behind a disguise, too much of a coward to show your true face, because someone may see the truth there behind your eyes
The truth that you are no better than me, you have your demons too, but you choose to play with me
Your game starts out so innocent and I am locked in a darkened room, with only the sound of your encrypted voice disguising the real you
You toy with my emotions and you bring me to the brink of insanity, and you watch me cry and scream out for someone to rescue me
Knowing good and well that there is no one that will answer my call, you have crafted your game so carefully you have nothing to fear at all
But you want to instill fear into me, and only you know the true reason behind your twisted scheme
Maybe someone once hurt you and you want to make someone else pay, maybe you’re just truly evil and to cope this is your way
You love to watch from afar because you’re not brazen enough to get close, you want to inflict pain, but only in the way that it will hurt the most
You give me choices that either way there is no right, you just love the adrenaline that you feel running through your veins as you sit back and watch the fight
The battle that is occurring inside of my own mind, questioning myself why am I being punished? What was my crime?
You ask me, “Do you want to play a game?” And do I really have a choice in the matter? You’re the one holding the reins
You go on to tell me that I am wrong for loving you, and so I must make a choice, do I live, or do I die? Without you
You know the monster that you are, and you feel that I am the same, because how could anyone love someone like you that seems to find strength in another’s pain
So, you tell me that it is time for the game to begin, that I must choose to cut out my own heart or suffer the consequences to win
You tell me that my heart must be tainted, that it must dead inside, because how could I love someone like you, it just isn’t right
You tell me that I must be defected, that there is something wrong with me, because no one has ever loved you, not truly
You hate me for making you feel, for pulling you out of the darkness in which you reside, you didn’t want to be saved from your demons, you wanted to live in your own mind
You wanted to believe them and all the lies that they told, and you despise me for showing you the light and what your future could hold
You didn’t want to see what could be if you could just learn to let go, you have been like this for so long that it has consumed your soul
And so, you choose to banish me because I am nothing like you, but a part of you believes that maybe a little bit of evil lives inside of me too
Because how can I look at you and take you for what you are? Can’t I see that you’re demented, and all wrapped up in your own scars?
So, you want me to pay the price, you want me to stop the way that I feel, you want me to cut out my heart so that the emotions will no longer be real
So that you don’t have to believe that deep down someone could accept you for you, so you choose to play this sick, twisted game, you’re doing what you think you must do
So, I sit here all alone, cold and all cried out, and I know that you can see me, and I know there must be a way out
I bargain with myself and then I try to bargain with you, but you don’t want to listen to me, you don’t want to hear the cold hard truth
You tell me that I must do as you say, although you know that in the end it will kill me either physically or emotionally, you don’t care as long as I pay
If I choose to cut out my heart with this knife that you have bestowed to me, I will surely die in this room with no one to hold me
Although you will be watching from the other side, is this really what you want? For me to end my life
Just so that you don’t have to feel? And you can go on being apathetic and cold, it isn’t fair that I must choose the fate of the story that you wrote
If I choose to walk away with my heart still intact, and tell you that I no longer love you will you actually let me take all of the words that I once spoke to you back?
Is it really that simple? Would you honestly believe that is the truth? Would you let me just walk away and not see this massacre through?
Isn’t that the true reason why I am here? You want to know that the feelings are really gone, you want to witness the tears
You believe that if I cut my heart out the feelings will die along with me, and then you can go on with your life alone and empty
I plead to you to end this, for you to stop this selfish game, I know that I could just lie and say that my feelings have changed
That I could scream out that I hate you and that through this I have clarity, I see who you really are inside, not the person here trying to haunt me
That I see that you’re pure evil and there is no good in you, and that I just want to live my life and never again think of you
And I know that most people would take the easy road, the path that lets them live, but to lie is just as bad as the crime that you believe I committed
I can’t walk away and just give up on who I know you really are, if there is a chance that you could be saved, then I want to play that part
So, I look around the room knowing you’re watching me, and I softly whisper back to you, “Do you want to play a game with me?”
At first, I hear nothing, but silence and then I hear the screeching of the tricycle begin, and here you enter the room with your Cheshire grin
You look at me with those fake eyes, all painted and scorching holes through me, and then I finally hear it, the voice that you tried to disguise when you would speak
You say to me that I am bold, that you can’t believe I have the audacity, to come back at you and try to turn the tables around for me
You tell me that you respect me, that maybe we’re not so different after all, and you choose to let me go instead of making me make that call
You unchain me and tell me that our story and the game ends here, that I am not to ever again think of you or to ever be near
I walk away and I leave with my heart still intact, knowing that what I sacrificed in that room I can never get back
My dignity, my pride, my will to live without your love inside of me, and I know that I made the right choice when I hear you scream out from the pain of the knife entering your heart, that you pierced all because of me.
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