Waking Up Granny
Here's another story about my granny
And, of course, it's always true
What kind of question is that?
Do you think I'd lie to you?
You see, my granny had this problem
That our family tried to keep hidden
She was a compulsive sleep walker
What do you mean?, no, I'm not kiddin'
Well, the first time it ever happened
I was sick with the chicken pox
I woke up early, when I found my granny
Standing at the neighbor's mailbox
They say, "Don't ever wake a sleep walker"
But you know me, I tried it
I brought her in and sit her down
And when I woke her, she denied it
Now, she was as mad as a hornet
She said, "What was I doing outside?"
Well, there was only one thing to do
Yep, you guessed it, "I lied"
I made up some cockamamie story
About a cat that was stuck in a tree
And how that she was some kinda hero
For helping that cat get free
Well, I think my granny bought it
The whole hook, line and sinker
What?... don't look at me like that
I had to be a really fast thinker
She said, "Okay get back to bed"
While I go and check on the cat
Don't judge me now, I lied again
I said, "I really don't know where I'm at"
Well, she thought I was delerious
After all, I was mighty sick
Okay, I know, enough already
I guess, it was a dirty trick
Anyway, that's my story
And there's plenty more stories to tell
Next time, I'll tell you the one
About my granny waking up in jail
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