Earl Schumacker Poet Rhyme

Virgin Conjurings

Virgin Conjuring’s

If I were a virgin I would lock up all the birds and bees
Keep them in little yellow boxes in the attic 
And never feed them aphrodisiacs 

If I were a virgin like Sir Isaac Newton
I would do something good for humanity
Have an apple fall on me and explain gravity

If I were a virgin I would become a cartoon
Just like Kim Jong-un, of North Korea
And pretend to be human

If I were a virgin in a strange religion
Where sex was a sin and crime all the time
Suicide and lobotomy would be on my mind

If I were a virgin, which I doubt very much
I would probably have to be age four or five
Living on a desert Island with no women by my side

If I were a virgin things would be different
I would suffer from malnutrition
There would be no reason for living

If I were a virgin……..

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Michael Bergman November 17, 2014 at 5:51 PM Hey there. I was reading your poem and I think I like it, but I really wanted to know more about it if that's alright? I was hoping you could maybe just give a general explanation of what this poem means and what your purpose was in writin g it? Earl Schumacker November 17, 2014 at 6:13 PM Hi Michael, Thank you so much for commenting. I appreciate it. This is like most of my poetry; a little strange, a little slice of life that takes on a life of its own. This particular one speaks to the nature of virginity from a scientific, religious, political and philosophic point of view. I hope you enjoyed it for the fun it was meant to be. I write for fun and entertainment. Take care. Earl