Vertigo In the Abyss

God, what is infinite mercy? God, what is Love? God, forgiveness for what? Fear not for God is with thee… God, if you are with me I can’t see you. I feel safe when I can see who is with me. God I am so alone and afraid. How can I fear not? God, I am falling blind in a dark abyss with vertigo. Falling is terror enough but why this disorienting tumble in muscled salty waves of oceanic cosmos? Strong arms tangle, strangle, caress, toss up, down, upside down… will I drown or is this the labor to life? Are the contractions pushing to an opening prayer? Dammit God dammit, are you there?