Valentine Shopper
I want to shop on Valentine's
but haven't got a date.
I'd buy myself some roses
if it wasn't for I'm straight.
Some chocolate hearts would fill my gut
and card say "I Love You".
But signing it would be in vain
and thanks would never do.
Coupons for a hug and kiss
would make my rainy day.
But everytime I cashed one in
I'd feel a littly gay.
Letters written to my love
would only creep me out.
And knowing they were meant for me
would surely leave no doubt.
Songs of love would fill my heart
if it was meant to be.
But knowing I'm a single guy
would make me want to flee.
Home cooked meals would seal the deal
and I could eat for two.
Until I'm fat and throw me back.
And still have plenty to chew.
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