Used
Open your mind
Open your heart
Look at your life
Mine was torn apart
Loving you by day
Dreaming of you by night
I have nothing to live for
Just one last fight
You slept with my best friend
Behind my back
Creating so much hate
Plus the ability to forgive I lack
You messed me up
That is a fact
I want to kill you
But I also want to have you back
Who am I really
I don't even know that
And because history repeats
I fear my past
If it were to happen again
I just wont last
So I'm hiding who I am
Yeah I got the perfect mask
I need to get away
I should run away fast
And just get the hell out of everyone's life
And then never look back
But eventually
I will have to face the facts
Wait that is a coward's thought
And I will never be that
Bring on the world
Bring on all you got
I'll take on all my enemies
Yeah I got a lot
True I created some
out of my own friends
Just because I don't know who to trust
So I made sure all my chances for friendship ends
This is what happens when insecurity meets love and lust
And after I ended the possibilities
I just wanted to bust
Breakdown and cry
Because I made my self even lower than dust
Just because I believed your lies
I'm so weak I got blown away by a weak little gust
Now this thought sucks
How stupid can I be
I must forgive you
Before I can ask others to forgive me
And there is two people I know for sure
That hate me but in the end I'm going to need
But no I had to go out and plant this defensive seed
And now
Well they laugh at the thought of me
And how much righter can they be
They have every right to do so
Considering I turned them enemy
I tried to use them to reopen a concealed wound
A suicidal attempt
Because with just one thought I would be consumed
Spiraling into the ground
I thank God they didn't go through with it
Because my strength has been found
Its time for me to grow up
Be a man and apologize
Admit I was wrong
Regardless of the pain I have felt for so long
Apologize but expect forgiveness
I know I don't deserve this
So as punishment
Lock me in Hell's deepest pits
And to the two I will need in the end
I don't expect anything to change
You will probably never consider me as an ally or a friend
You have every reason not to
So please enjoy watching me fall
Its what I get for what I attempted to do
This is what happens when the used try yo use you
Copyright © Nathan Stobbs | Year Posted 2009
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