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Upright Position

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Today I learned that this form of poetry is "Triversen". Invented by D. William Carlos Williams.

As sun slowly climbs, so is my wish to leave this bed of agony. In shadows dust gathers on rims, wheels, between unwebbed toes motionless. Water flows in one direction, thoughts run rampant everywhere. Body fails to manage upright position ninety degree angle. Sprawled flat, a hateful situation if it lasts for too long. *** May 22, 2017 Copyright © Darren White

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Dean Wood

Date: 6/6/2017 9:40:00 AM

Darren, my heart aches at your trouble but is soars when I read your words. You are very gifted. Thank you for sharing. - Dean

Darren White
Date: 6/6/2017 10:38:00 AM

Dean, thank you, that is a huge compliment :)

Lenna Walker

Date: 5/24/2017 10:36:00 AM

I feel the emotion Darren. Like being in a prison with no bars. Very deep and sad write my friend, well done. May you have many brighter tomorrows ... upright !! :)

Darren White
Date: 5/24/2017 10:44:00 AM

Upright! :) Thank you my friend. The sun was shining today, and I wheeled outside, was a huge relief.

Maria Williams

Date: 5/24/2017 7:19:00 AM

A moving emotional read my Dear Darren. I can well understand what you are going through, but you carry on in true Darren Style. So proud of you my dear friend. A7++ Maria xxx

Darren White
Date: 5/24/2017 7:23:00 AM

Maria, thank you. I hope we speak soon :)

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 5/23/2017 5:59:00 AM

Your poetry inspires others Darren. Your poem was so moving! I am happy that you can now sit up. May your path become easier to travel day by day. Sending some prayers for you my friend. Blessings, Connie 7 ; )

Darren White
Date: 5/23/2017 12:16:00 PM

Thank you Connie :) For everything.

J.L Chandler

Date: 5/22/2017 11:55:00 PM

A tale of detox?

Darren White
Date: 5/23/2017 12:21:00 AM

I usually like it when people read their own poetry in the words I have written :) Your own interpretation is what counts! But no, no detox. I have been in bed for a while because I am sick.

Jeremy Smith

Date: 5/22/2017 8:08:00 PM

Very gifted and inspirational!! Outside of this :)

Darren White
Date: 5/23/2017 12:18:00 AM

Thanks Jeremy :)

Anne-Marie Coreggia

Date: 5/22/2017 5:45:00 PM

Your poem brought tears to my eyes Darren, but I was glad to read that you are now allowed to sit upright. Need I tell you how powerful you words are! Ton amie qui pense à toi:) Amitiés

Darren White
Date: 5/23/2017 12:17:00 AM

Merci mon amie :) I hope the doctor will allow me to get out of this bed today.

Carol B.

Date: 5/22/2017 1:57:00 PM

Darren, You're such a gifted poet! Your words and your strength always amaze me. You have a friend in me. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers :)

Darren White
Date: 5/22/2017 2:02:00 PM

Carol, thank you so much my friend :)

Eve Roper

Date: 5/22/2017 12:31:00 PM

Oh, Darren, my heartaches as your emotions brilliantly come through in this write. ~*

Darren White
Date: 5/22/2017 1:09:00 PM

Thank you Eve, I am glad you like my poem :)

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 5/22/2017 12:06:00 PM

A terrible kind of agony, dear friend. <3

Darren White
Date: 5/22/2017 1:05:00 PM

yeah, indeed Kim, But I will get there again thank you :)

Lisa Ricci

Date: 5/22/2017 9:21:00 AM

Hello Darren. You are no Penguin here. I have no words for your words are true and true for all. May today be a good day with showing a glimpse of light. You are amazing Darren in your expressions. -- Smile --

Darren White
Date: 5/22/2017 11:42:00 AM

I smile Lisa, I am allowed to sit up now, not out of bed yet, but it's an improvement! Thanks :)

Sara Ella

Date: 5/22/2017 7:20:00 AM

Laying flat or sitting upright, you always write so well! The picture and your poem are a perfect match. Hope you can sit up soon <3

Darren White
Date: 5/22/2017 7:50:00 AM

Thanks my friend <3 I am now, the doctor just left :)

Tim Smith

Date: 5/22/2017 6:57:00 AM

I really like this Darren...love your word usage

Darren White
Date: 5/22/2017 7:49:00 AM

Thanks Tim, I love it too :) Although I am glad the doctor now allows me to sit upright again \o/ No wheelchair yet, but this is such a relief.

Chris Green

Date: 5/22/2017 6:44:00 AM

Regardless of the position you are forced to be in at this time, through your poetry, you are always standing tall with us my friend. Just be patient, that time will come

Darren White
Date: 5/22/2017 6:50:00 AM

Thank you so very much my friend. Patience is not always my strong side :)

J-Mag Guthrie

Date: 5/22/2017 5:21:00 AM

minor nits: dust gathers (with an s) upright positions (if it's bodies plural) I think I get what you're trying for. Usually, though, when people talk about one hundred and eighty, they refer to a turn-around which is the *exact* opposite of what you have. It's an unfortunate collision with a colloquialism. Try something that speaks of a flat-line or plane or ... I know that two angles that form that line are called "supplementary" angles. Maybe that vocabulary helps you?

J-Mag Guthrie
Date: 5/22/2017 5:40:00 AM

Yeah, it's a failure in English. A "one-eighty" is turning around, from back-to-front or front-to-back. I know what you meant, but the ... clicheness of the phrase will mess up what you're saying. It's not your fault. It's an idiom you clashed with.

Darren White
Date: 5/22/2017 5:36:00 AM

Oh cool, thanks. It is however only one body, so I will change the plural 'bodies' instead. About the one hundred and eighty I have a question. I am probably missing something with a dual meaning in English. What I was trying to do is putting the lying position in bed opposite to the sitting position (90 degrees), but apparently that fails?